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Old 04-27-2011, 06:19 AM
jezebel jezebel is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 4
Default How to ask her?

Hi, there.

I recently got back into contact with a man I dated two years ago. Our relationship lasted for over three years and during that time we seriously discussed polyamory, but never acted upon these discussions. Now that he is back in my life, I realize that my feelings have not diminished in the slightest, and he says he feels the same.

As you can probably guess, he has a new girlfriend by now. We have been perfectly upfront and honest with her about the way we feel about each other, and she has been super understanding. Of course, these statements have always been couched in disclaimers such as, "I'm not trying to steal your boyfriend, but ..." so that might have something to do with it.

She is bisexual. So am I. She is the one who began our friendship via texting, and has been increasingly affectionate since then. She says that I am adorable, that I am the most amazing person ever, that she's so glad we met, that she would ride her bike two hours to meet me, etc. We have also teasingly proposed to each other. Furthermore, we are making plans to hang out this summer, and she says things like, "I'm so excited, especially because I'll be with you!" AND she wants to watch a horror movie so we can curl up and be scared together. I don't KNOW that any of this means that she is flirting with me, but we have only been speaking for two weeks, and it certainly seems flirtatious.

I recently broached the subject of polyamory with him and he said that he was for it, but I should be the one to bring it up with her. I know that, if she agrees, we will all three have a lot of talking to do, but first I have to get her to agree.

So here's the question: I'm so nervous. How do I bring it up? What if she says she's okay with polyamory in theory, and then I ask specifically and she gets weirded out? What if she isn't okay with it at all?
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