Is this jealousy or general concern?

[NeonKaos]

Originally Posted by gamerprincess

I don't know why he thinks it's OK, really.. Tells me I'm being too unfair about her.

Check out this thread.

And this one.

[gamerprincess]

Originally Posted by NeonKaos

Check out this thread.

And this one.

Thanks, will bookmark those. I'm definitely not going for a veto power thing my any means, I feel thats wrong unless like BU stated in her reply about it being dangerous to the relationship via drugs, mental issues, law breaking, etc.

[gamerprincess]

Originally Posted by NeonKaos

NRE means "New Relationship Energy" and usually happens when people are at least in lust if not in love with each other. If he hasn't even MET her, it's not "NRE". I don't care what anyone else says, it's not "a relationship" if he's just exchanged a few emails and is planning on meeting this person for the first time.

OK, so the excitement and energy he is feeling about their convos and about meeting her is not considered NRE??????? I'm fully aware of what the acronym stands for, and as far as I see it, since I haven't seen this excitement and desire in him towards doing this, I thought thats what it is.

I didn't realize there was a specific definition to what sort of relationship NRE would be considered as being. They've already got a friendship going, and isn't a friendship a relationship in a way? Or the start to one in something like this?

[NeonKaos]

Originally Posted by gamerprincess

OK, so the excitement and energy he is feeling about their convos and about meeting her is not considered NRE??????? I'm fully aware of what the acronym stands for, and as far as I see it, since I haven't seen this excitement and desire in him towards doing this, I thought thats what it is.

I didn't realize there was a specific definition to what sort of relationship NRE would be considered as being. They've already got a friendship going, and isn't a friendship a relationship in a way? Or the start to one in something like this?

I'm just saying it's way too soon to be using NRE an an excuse or rationale for his behaviour and/or lack of good judgment.

And I wasn't suggesting that you USE "veto power". I really wanted you to read the posts about what is NOT veto power, especially where redpepper talks about something that happened with her husband and some lady where there was an unhealthy dynamic or something and rp gave her husband a wake-up call. She'll tell you about it once she sees this thread prob'ly.

[gamerprincess]

Originally Posted by NeonKaos

I'm just saying it's way too soon to be using NRE an an excuse or rationale for his behaviour and/or lack of good judgment.

And I wasn't suggesting that you USE "veto power". I really wanted you to read the posts about what is NOT veto power, especially where redpepper talks about something that happened with her husband and some lady where there was an unhealthy dynamic or something and rp gave her husband a wake-up call. She'll tell you about it once she sees this thread prob'ly.

Ahh, understood NK I'm just confused on what I should be calling it. I guess excitement would be alright. I read some of the posts on the veto power, but I'm still reading through the thread and had not gotten to that part yet. Sorry, I need to be better on reading it all before replying

[BlackUnicorn]

Sorry you are going through this. I agree with everyone who has posted so far that this woman doesn't sound a very healthy individual.

Originally Posted by gamerprincess

I told him that he should ask her to be on birth control given she's already got kids and was careless. He also says he would not have sex without a condom, ever. We've been together for 6 years and I know we are both clean. One of my boundaries was that he tell her to get tested and show clean results before going forward if they decide that's what they want should they meet.

A good precaution, but not really enough - she might have other partners she's bare-backing with at the moment.

Whose to say she does not get pregnant (carelessness or not so) and draw you and your hubby into a long and nasty paternity mess, regardless of who the real father is?

I am also worried about the small children. They will most likely get attached to your husband in one way or another. Either she gets a sitter and they only meet in motels and so, or hubs better be pretty darn sure he can handle it.

[Magdlyn]

I have to disagree with Neon. I think NRE can happen online before one meets. Plus, your bf is excited about becoming poly in general... has NRE for poly itself!

This chick sounds like bad news. I'm not a big fan of veto power, but women who have kids in that fashion, ughhh. Step away from the crazy!

[NeonKaos]

Originally Posted by Magdlyn

Plus, your bf is excited about becoming poly in general... has NRE for poly itself!

Your boyfriend is thinking with his little head. If people want to call that "NRE [for poly itself]", who am I to censor their right to express themselves.

[TruckerPete]

I'll throw my vote into the "run fast and far away" camp.

[Magdlyn]

Originally Posted by NeonKaos

Your boyfriend is thinking with his little head. If people want to call that "NRE [for poly itself]", who am I to censor their right to express themselves.

Yeah i just wanted to point out, there is no hard and fast twoo poly way to define these terms, or experience them.

I am glad opening your marriage, even tho this first prospect seems unsuitable, has heated up things with you and your bf, GP.