Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 04-25-2011, 10:24 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
Custodian
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
Posts: 3,221
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by gamerprincess View Post
I don't know why he thinks it's OK, really.. Tells me I'm being too unfair about her.

Check out this thread.

And this one.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 04-25-2011, 11:43 PM
gamerprincess's Avatar
gamerprincess gamerprincess is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Southern California
Posts: 83
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
Thanks, will bookmark those. I'm definitely not going for a veto power thing my any means, I feel thats wrong unless like BU stated in her reply about it being dangerous to the relationship via drugs, mental issues, law breaking, etc.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 04-25-2011, 11:47 PM
gamerprincess's Avatar
gamerprincess gamerprincess is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Southern California
Posts: 83
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
NRE means "New Relationship Energy" and usually happens when people are at least in lust if not in love with each other. If he hasn't even MET her, it's not "NRE". I don't care what anyone else says, it's not "a relationship" if he's just exchanged a few emails and is planning on meeting this person for the first time.
OK, so the excitement and energy he is feeling about their convos and about meeting her is not considered NRE??????? I'm fully aware of what the acronym stands for, and as far as I see it, since I haven't seen this excitement and desire in him towards doing this, I thought thats what it is.

I didn't realize there was a specific definition to what sort of relationship NRE would be considered as being. They've already got a friendship going, and isn't a friendship a relationship in a way? Or the start to one in something like this?
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 04-25-2011, 11:50 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
Custodian
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
Posts: 3,221
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by gamerprincess View Post
OK, so the excitement and energy he is feeling about their convos and about meeting her is not considered NRE??????? I'm fully aware of what the acronym stands for, and as far as I see it, since I haven't seen this excitement and desire in him towards doing this, I thought thats what it is.

I didn't realize there was a specific definition to what sort of relationship NRE would be considered as being. They've already got a friendship going, and isn't a friendship a relationship in a way? Or the start to one in something like this?

I'm just saying it's way too soon to be using NRE an an excuse or rationale for his behaviour and/or lack of good judgment.

And I wasn't suggesting that you USE "veto power". I really wanted you to read the posts about what is NOT veto power, especially where redpepper talks about something that happened with her husband and some lady where there was an unhealthy dynamic or something and rp gave her husband a wake-up call. She'll tell you about it once she sees this thread prob'ly.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 04-25-2011, 11:55 PM
gamerprincess's Avatar
gamerprincess gamerprincess is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Southern California
Posts: 83
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
I'm just saying it's way too soon to be using NRE an an excuse or rationale for his behaviour and/or lack of good judgment.

And I wasn't suggesting that you USE "veto power". I really wanted you to read the posts about what is NOT veto power, especially where redpepper talks about something that happened with her husband and some lady where there was an unhealthy dynamic or something and rp gave her husband a wake-up call. She'll tell you about it once she sees this thread prob'ly.
Ahh, understood NK I'm just confused on what I should be calling it. I guess excitement would be alright. I read some of the posts on the veto power, but I'm still reading through the thread and had not gotten to that part yet. Sorry, I need to be better on reading it all before replying
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 04-26-2011, 08:06 AM
BlackUnicorn's Avatar
BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 906
Default

Sorry you are going through this. I agree with everyone who has posted so far that this woman doesn't sound a very healthy individual.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gamerprincess View Post
I told him that he should ask her to be on birth control given she's already got kids and was careless. He also says he would not have sex without a condom, ever. We've been together for 6 years and I know we are both clean. One of my boundaries was that he tell her to get tested and show clean results before going forward if they decide that's what they want should they meet.
A good precaution, but not really enough - she might have other partners she's bare-backing with at the moment.

Whose to say she does not get pregnant (carelessness or not so) and draw you and your hubby into a long and nasty paternity mess, regardless of who the real father is?

I am also worried about the small children. They will most likely get attached to your husband in one way or another. Either she gets a sitter and they only meet in motels and so, or hubs better be pretty darn sure he can handle it.
__________________
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 04-26-2011, 01:05 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 3,288
Default

I have to disagree with Neon. I think NRE can happen online before one meets. Plus, your bf is excited about becoming poly in general... has NRE for poly itself!

This chick sounds like bad news. I'm not a big fan of veto power, but women who have kids in that fashion, ughhh. Step away from the crazy!
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

There's no lying in polyamory!

I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 04-26-2011, 01:20 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
Custodian
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
Posts: 3,221
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Plus, your bf is excited about becoming poly in general... has NRE for poly itself!

Your boyfriend is thinking with his little head. If people want to call that "NRE [for poly itself]", who am I to censor their right to express themselves.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 04-26-2011, 02:11 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,000
Default

I'll throw my vote into the "run fast and far away" camp.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 04-26-2011, 02:26 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 3,288
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
Your boyfriend is thinking with his little head. If people want to call that "NRE [for poly itself]", who am I to censor their right to express themselves.
Yeah i just wanted to point out, there is no hard and fast twoo poly way to define these terms, or experience them.

I am glad opening your marriage, even tho this first prospect seems unsuitable, has heated up things with you and your bf, GP.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

There's no lying in polyamory!

I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:50 AM.