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Old 04-24-2011, 05:19 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

A few thoughts:

While your bf may be uncomfortable with the idea of meeting or hearing about anyone you date, you are uncomfortable with not meeting her. He should try to understand that the two of you have different needs, and his way is not better than yours -- for you. Some mutual respect and compromise is in order. If I were you, I'd tell him, "For my own peace of mind, I need to at least talk to her. I respect your wishes, so please respect mine, and let her know I will be in touch this week." Then make the call and see if she wants to meet.

The fact that he is okay with you dating a woman but not a man belittles everything a woman could be for you. It is sexist and prejudicial and smacks of insecurities and competitiveness about men that he needs to deal with himself. I am glad to hear that he is not restricting you from being with a man, but I think that if you are going to have polyamorous relationships, he needs to accept that you cannot bend real life to a pre-conceived and pre-approved formula. Loving is loving and if a man comes along that you are attracted to and would like to explore possibilities with, he should accept it. After all, you are your own woman and he can't place demands on who and how you love.

I think it is perfect timing that you go out with this guy who asked you out for the same time your bf is on a date - it will help keep your mind off what's happening and you certainly won't be the one "left behind." It's not a manipulation, it happened of its own accord. I think you should go ahead and enjoy yourself!
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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