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  #31  
Old 04-23-2011, 08:59 PM
dragonflysky dragonflysky is offline
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I think some of the key words used by your friend/lover were "doesn't want to" and "can't". To me..."can't" is the "victim" in co-dependency. I think her honesty is "doesn't want to." She chooses not to do anything different. It is "in her hands" in spite of what she claims.

I, too, have struggled with clinical depression throughout much of my adult life, and it's important to take good care of yourself so as to not get sucked back into a very dark abyss. Take good care of yourself and I wish you the best on this journey!!
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  #32  
Old 04-23-2011, 11:33 PM
tercera tercera is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonflysky View Post
I think some of the key words used by your friend/lover were "doesn't want to" and "can't". To me..."can't" is the "victim" in co-dependency. I think her honesty is "doesn't want to." She chooses not to do anything different. It is "in her hands" in spite of what she claims.

I, too, have struggled with clinical depression throughout much of my adult life, and it's important to take good care of yourself so as to not get sucked back into a very dark abyss. Take good care of yourself and I wish you the best on this journey!!
Oh, I know thatīs her choice. I know she could actually do something about it, but either she doesnīt care, or she really canīt see what she CAN do. I just feel so tired of trying to force something that isnīt working. I donīt think I can keep trying to take them someplace they donīt want to go to.
I finally understood I canīt do anything with their choices. i can only make my own choices, and take care of myself. I donīt want to keep trying to make them talk between themselves, when they clearly donīt want to.
And thank you so much for telling me about your depression.I feel so impotent, working so much to deal with my depression, and seeing there are still things that make me fall down. Itīs like living with a ghost that keeps threatening me. I know I have to take care of myself, I just wish it was a bit easier.
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  #33  
Old 04-24-2011, 06:37 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Originally Posted by tercera View Post
I finally understood I canīt do anything with their choices. i can only make my own choices, and take care of myself. I donīt want to keep trying to make them talk between themselves, when they clearly donīt want to.
Good for you! This is the truth! We only have ourselves to look after us. Hope you are able to do that and it works out with them. If not, then its better to look after yourself. We are our own primaries.
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