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Old 04-17-2011, 05:08 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Default party poly talk

I went to two parties this week where Poly came up. Everyone was super interested in the lifestyle I have made home, but that also came with concern for me and my partners. Questions were raised about how I could possibly have time, how I could possibly be showing my loves that I care and love them, how I could spend that much energy on my relationships when I could be spending it elsewhere.

Some people I met had been to different poly events and don't go any more. Their reason? They are back on the mono train, because it is easier. Poly is hard work and really they were only in it because they hadn't found "the one," and were dating and playing the field until they did. Now they either have found "the one" or have given up and found seeking out poly relationships has just kept them from the task of finding "the one."

What was interesting was that they were sceptical and in disbelief of my success so far on this journey. I find it hard to respond in such conversations. Its almost as if they are looking to me to pull something out of no where that will give them an answer as to how to proceed and how to be successful in poly. There is no one answer, and it inevitably comes from the individuals involved. This does not seem to compute somehow, or is fraught with disbelieve and doubt.

People seem to want to make a cult out of poly as if their are rules to follow, procedure to be aware of. Really, for me, poly success comes down to two things; time management, and being independently aware of every single thing that comes up for me. At least this is the simple party version anyway.

What's your party version on your poly? What have you encountered when talking about poly in such situations?
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