My husband and I have been married for four years, together for seven. This past year, we have been defining what our open relationship means to us, and how it will work for us. It's been a difficult and challenging year, as we fell into every pitfall there is - cheating, half-hearted and self-serving communication, avoiding conflict which turned into huge fights, etc., etc. We have worked very hard together to be honest about what we both want and to take responsibility for our own needs. We've read the books, saw a poly-friendly therapist, and participate in other online venues. My biggest learning is how much of our own unresolved baggage came to the surface through this year, and how much of it was creating the worst hurdles. And more importantly, that we had to fix our own relationship first before pursuing others. I have read a few of the threads here, and decided to join immediately. I hope to find a place to discuss my stumbles and get feedback from those with much more experience than I have. This is a difficult journey, but it's worth it.