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  #31  
Old 04-16-2011, 06:20 AM
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Karma Karma is offline
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Let me agree with Sage, in a more blunt fashion.

This is your blog. YOUR blog. The blog that belongs to YOU. This is your place to get things off of your mind/chest, to vent if you need to - and you DO need to do this.

If she CHOOSES to read YOUR blog, that is HER choice - the choice belonging to HER. In this same vein, her reactions to it are HERS - the actions belonging to HER. Not to you.

You choose to write. She chooses to read. She chooses to react. You do not force her to read this or to react to it. Therefore, you have no reason to not write what you feel here, because she can always CHOOSE to not read it, or CHOOSE to react to it in a different manner. She is responsible for her own choices and actions, not you. Your actions and words do not neccesitate a response from her, or force her to react in a certain way.

Keep writing. This is for you, and it's something you need.
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  #32  
Old 04-16-2011, 01:59 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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What Karma said. I've seen only respect from you to her on this blog. The same cannot be said about hers ...
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  #33  
Old 04-16-2011, 02:13 PM
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I agree with Sage and Karma.
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  #34  
Old 04-16-2011, 02:58 PM
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Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
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Originally Posted by TruckerPete View Post
What Karma said. I've seen only respect from you to her on this blog. The same cannot be said about hers ...
Sage, Karma, TP, SN and everyone following along- Thanks guys! And let me start by saying I understand her posts have been out of frustration and fear. She is making a life changing decision. Attacking me when she is scared is not out of the ordinary. Most people would blame the other woman. But we are here on this forum because we (for the most part) are not really people who believe in the conventional wisdom of traditional relationships. That said I do not agree with her characterizations and some of it is just simply untrue. 2Rings does not comment much. He reads it almost daily. So what she says and does on here does not go unnoticed. They communicate alot. HE has worked really hard for years with KT to help her with depression. He has also ALWAYS maintained his family is his priority. His children are of utmost importance and come before KT and me. It is their daily homelife that is his concern. And rightfully so. He also takes care of his mother. A huge undertaking that has been HIS most of his life. He is stressed beyond belief, most men would have caved or checked-out long ago. He hasn't. He tries every day. He has done what it takes to keep some semblance of his family together. He is a good man- bottom line.

Now I am not going to say anything more on their relationship. I may comment about subjects that pertain to me and indirectly them but I have no intention of this being about KT. She is part of my life and always will be because 2Rings always will be. I respect her as a mother and a woman. She is an individual with her own trials and tribulations- and hopefully triumphs. I want her to be happy in her life, her happiness will always effect me (effect or affect). And of course 2Rings happiness is a priority. So that being said my lovely forum friends, thank you for supporting us. Your interest alone is astounding. xo
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  #35  
Old 04-16-2011, 07:39 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Since you asked, affect. Effect is the noun, affect is the verb.
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  #36  
Old 04-17-2011, 04:50 PM
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Originally Posted by TruckerPete View Post
Since you asked, affect. Effect is the noun, affect is the verb.
Thank you!
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  #37  
Old 04-18-2011, 04:21 PM
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Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
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Constantly changing. No inertia here. Really great conversations with loved ones about poly. Of course I was careful as to whom I told about 2Rings and Hub's acceptance of this OSO.

2Rings went with me to meet a very close cousin of mine. She is an only child and so we kind of grew-up more like sisters. Hubs sometimes does sub-contracting for her husband- we are as I said a crazy close family. She is older than me so it was important for me to have her approval/acceptance of this relationship. I was sooo relieved a year ago when I told her and she totally understood from where I was coming. As a matter of fact her response when I disclosed this relationship (after a Pens hockey game and a few margaritas- and one Labatts was "I am sure if your marriage is strong enough to get over jealousy it would actually probably keep your relationship exciting and keep you both from becoming bored or complacent." Then she said, "Do you tell Hubs when you are out with 2Rings or do you keep it at 'out with a friend' ?" She was curious but totally ok with it.

Anyway I was soooo excited Saturday when he went out with the two of us and some of her friends to see a rock band performing at her local bar. They got along great, she totally approved of him("he's really nice and easy to talk to!") and inspite of the loud music they got to know eachother a bit- they grewup in the same area of the city and went to the same highschool. They even have their own inside joke about a magic microphone. So I was very happy in this small but significant acknowledgement of my OSO.

Well going to take a walk with my youngest daughter (home on Easter break)and my princess puppy. Happy Monday all...no really I hope it isn't a manic Monday for you!

Last edited by Morningglory629; 04-18-2011 at 05:13 PM.
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  #38  
Old 04-18-2011, 09:31 PM
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Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
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Default Gotta question

Can someone from an established poly/mono relationship let me know what to expect from SO and OSO once we start introducing more home time with OSO. I am curious as to what is normal once 2Rings is able to spend more time with me at home what kind of issues to expect. i don't want to base assumptions on anything I have experienced with KT. I am trying to prepare me, hubs, kids etc. let me know what you think...
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  #39  
Old 04-18-2011, 10:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Morningglory629 View Post
Can someone from an established poly/mono relationship let me know what to expect from SO and OSO once we start introducing more home time with OSO. I am curious as to what is normal once 2Rings is able to spend more time with me at home what kind of issues to expect. i don't want to base assumptions on anything I have experienced with KT. I am trying to prepare me, hubs, kids etc. let me know what you think...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morningglory629 View Post
His policy of DADT about my sexual practices with 2Rings is for his own protection according to him, and quite honestly it is appreciated. Other than knowing the basics of who, where and when will I be home, he doesn't seem to have the need to know. He is a thoroughly well-adjusted mono living with a poly wife. Maybe for other reasons, but jealousy hasnt been an issue.
.
Expect to work on the approach of DADT if you have more home/family time. Your hubs will likely have to face things he has avoided possibly. Now your boyfriend will be in his space...that will bring up challenges that may be similar to how 2Rings partner is doing.

Proceed slow and gently
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  #40  
Old 04-18-2011, 10:40 PM
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Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
Expect to work on the approach of DADT if you have more home/family time. Your hubs will likely have to face things he has avoided possibly. Now your boyfriend will be in his space...that will bring up challenges that may be similar to how 2Rings partner is doing.

Proceed slow and gently
That's a given. And we have slowly been moving towards more social interaction. thanks Mon. How did you handle being introduced to Pepper's nuclear family? what helped? what didn't work for you? his dadt policy is that he does not want to hear sexual details. or for that matter personal details that concern only 2rings And I. but point taken.
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