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  #11  
Old 04-15-2011, 09:58 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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In reading through this thread, I had an epiphany. We've never had much in the way of rules--safe sex with others the primary one--and I figured out why.

We understand that there are consequences for our behaviors. We understand that our partners are free to decide for themselves what they will and will not tolerate. We make our choices with the thought in mind that what we do can lead to our partner(s) choosing not to continue in the relationship. If we want to continue in the relationship, then we avoid choices that make continuance untenable for the other person.

In other words, I avoid doing anything that I suspect would alienate Curly and she offers me the same consideration, simply because we want to remain in this relationship.

That said, if she were to get horribly upset by a long list of things to where I couldn't engage in other relationships without a major load of hassle and/or drama, I'd likely walk on because that would make the relationship untenable for me. It's a balancing act, and I think a primary requirement is to find somebody who's essentially compatible in terms of relationship style and emotional maturity.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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  #12  
Old 04-15-2011, 11:38 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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No other cock
I couldnt play without pengrah there and visa versa

My common line when we were picking up. I would have a give hitting on me, I would usually throw out the line (after I know they wanna play)

"I would love to fuck you, but you have fuck my wife too"

You would be surprised, that works. haha..

Other than that, the obvious ones, protection vs disease is a priority for us and who we are involved with.
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  #13  
Old 04-16-2011, 01:28 AM
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Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
We only have 2 rules - don't give each other diseases and don't make each other miserable. Those two things aren't about to change in the foreseeable future.
Good rules. Keeping it simple, I like!
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  #14  
Old 04-16-2011, 01:42 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Ok, rules...Ummm.....Well....L and I had the no kissing rule for a long time. In fact...it was about 10 years. No kissing anyone else. period....We tried it once at about the 4 or 5 year mark. It went poorly. There was MAJOR jealosy that ensued. Then, about 6 months ago, I formally dropped the rule for L. I wasn't so concerned with myself, but I felt that L had a desire to kiss her bf at the time. So I told her to go for it. It was HOT! I have never had an isue with her kissing anyone else.

Then, about 3 or 4 months ago, while we were in bed with our gf at the time, L told me to kiss our GF....while I was having sex with L. Interesting....So I did...and L says she found it SUPER hot! So....Bottom line, we have officially dropped the no kissing rule. It had it's time and place...and we matured beyond it. It was not a "laughable" rule....but it was, at the time, a necissary one. Now...it is not as necissary, so it has been dropped.

We still retain a couple rules though.
1) Protection if anyone else is involved.
2) we acompany each other on 1st dates. This is for a couple reasons. 1st, so that the potential bf or gf understands that the person they are seeing is married, but that the spouse is "ok" with them dating and getting intimate. 2nd is for safety. Mainly of L, but eh...I guess if I were to be "molested" by some woman (note the sarcasm and humor here please) I would appreciate L helping. LMAO!
3) No "overnighter's" until the other person is comfortable with the new bf or gf.
4) said GF or BF needs to be friends (at a minimum) with the other person.

So those are our "rules". Some may seem laughable to you, but for us, curently, they are necissary.
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  #15  
Old 04-16-2011, 02:40 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
So those are our "rules". Some may seem laughable to you, but for us, curently, they are necissary.
You know TL this would be a good topic for a new thread, if you desired. I know I don`t feel other peoples rules, boundaries, etc, are 'silly'. Nor do I think one set of rules somehow is right, and superior to anothers.

I see it much like growing a garden.( dorky analogy, please follow.).... We are all growing different parts of our relationships, at different times and in different places. Much like a garden that needs various aspects of care, depending on what you have planted that year.

Sure there are extremes, where people get a little overkill, or let fear rule them. For the most part, I see no shame in people looking after their relationships, the best way they know how. Mr. Sour and I, usually find ourselves relating to people with more rules then us. I`ve rarely judged them on it.
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  #16  
Old 04-16-2011, 05:38 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Here's the important part of the OP:

"So, I'd like to hear about any rules you've had that now, seem a bit funny!"

The only standard offered for judging rules silly is rules that posters have personally had in the past and now find it silly that they ever thought they needed them. This is for each poster to decided for his or her self. There is no judgement of other peoples' rules being offered.
__________________
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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  #17  
Old 04-16-2011, 07:46 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
Here's the important part of the OP:

"So, I'd like to hear about any rules you've had that now, seem a bit funny!"

The only standard offered for judging rules silly is rules that posters have personally had in the past and now find it silly that they ever thought they needed them. This is for each poster to decided for his or her self. There is no judgement of other peoples' rules being offered.
Thank you!
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  #18  
Old 04-16-2011, 11:33 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
Here's the important part of the OP:

"So, I'd like to hear about any rules you've had that now, seem a bit funny!"

The only standard offered for judging rules silly is rules that posters have personally had in the past and now find it silly that they ever thought they needed them. This is for each poster to decided for his or her self. There is no judgement of other peoples' rules being offered.
Exactly. Which is why I said it would be great for a new thread. I don`t think either TL or I complained about the OP.

I myself, was definitely responding to what TL said.

That`s still allowed, yes ?
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  #19  
Old 04-16-2011, 11:39 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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I was not complaining at all. Sorry if it sounded that way.
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  #20  
Old 04-17-2011, 01:31 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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I for one have been enjoying reading about people's journeys - what rules or guidelines they had starting out and how things evolved. Since I'm new to all this, it's rather reassuring.
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