Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #81  
Old 04-12-2011, 08:03 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,288
Default

Mr.FFR-
More response after I take a shower.

GG and I don't specify "temporary" versus "permanent" because we've already accepted that there isn't such a thing as "permanent" when it comes to SITUATIONS.

So, do I foresee this being temporary? Yes.
Do I know how long "temporary" is? No.
Do I know the precise details of WHAT the change is? No.

I just know that I need some space from expectations and responsibilities in some area and the area of the kids isn't optional-so, that leaves the adult relationships, of which GG is the key one.

Is our friendship secure and sound? Yes.
But-I didn't ever doubt that.

Maybe later I'll post a little "history on us" in here...

There are other threads out there-and I've asked a couple of the mods to help me move them all to this thread, so that they are one. I didn't know when I first started posting that it would end up being so confusing having separate threads about our "life" all over the place.
I did the work to FIND the threads, but I'm not a moderator-so I can't move them. Unfortunately, merging them all together is a huge job (I assume). So, I'm not putting any pressure on the mods to move them all in any particular timeline-because they already have lives of their own and cleaning up my mess, well, it's not really their job.
So I'm at the mercy of their time and freedom.
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
  #82  
Old 04-12-2011, 08:04 PM
MrFarFromRight's Avatar
MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Smack in the middle of The Spanish Revolution!
Posts: 483
Default

LR: Yay! You're on-line! I've been waiting for you to show up...
__________________
If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
Reply With Quote
  #83  
Old 04-12-2011, 08:04 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,288
Default

I gotta run and take a shower (water is already running).
But, I'll be back in about 30 minutes or so.
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
  #84  
Old 04-12-2011, 11:39 PM
Breathesgirl's Avatar
Breathesgirl Breathesgirl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 834
Default

This just totally sucks!

You'll come out the other side stronger and wiser for the experience.

HUGS!!!!!!!

Feel better soon.

Give the munchkins some hugs too, it'll make you all feel a wee bit better just knowing that the other is there.
__________________
There are as many ways to do polyamory as there are people practicing it!
Reply With Quote
  #85  
Old 04-12-2011, 11:57 PM
BrigidsDaughter's Avatar
BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 822
Default

*HUGS* I am sorry that you are going through this, LR.
Reply With Quote
  #86  
Old 04-15-2011, 09:53 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,288
Default

Taking the kids for a walk today-with Maca. They need some time with their dad, I need to get out of the house and I need the exercise. Hoping that the fact that we aren't sitting and staring will make it somewhat less awkward and uncomfortable.

I miss him. It's hard.

Today should be our date night-but no date tonight.
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
  #87  
Old 04-15-2011, 10:01 PM
SNeacail's Avatar
SNeacail SNeacail is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near Disneyland
Posts: 1,574
Default

Hugs!
Reply With Quote
  #88  
Old 04-15-2011, 10:28 PM
Morningglory629's Avatar
Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: PA
Posts: 727
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Taking the kids for a walk today-with Maca. They need some time with their dad, I need to get out of the house and I need the exercise. Hoping that the fact that we aren't sitting and staring will make it somewhat less awkward and uncomfortable.

I miss him. It's hard.

Today should be our date night-but no date tonight.
Me neither! Maybe instead of lunch we do tele-pseudo date night!

Quote:
I guess you'll have to ask him that. In my opinion the answer is becuase it's easier to hate GG than it is to admit that he's responsible for his own life and if it sucks, it's his own fault. If his relationships are failing, one after another, it's his own fault. It's easier to blame the scapegoat (GG) then face that he's choosing to destroy his life.
Wow. You are right. Maca is really off the rails. What the Hell is he thinking?! As usual it seems his timing sucks- not that there is ever a GOOD time to distance yourself from your nuclear family.

Last edited by Morningglory629; 04-15-2011 at 10:33 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #89  
Old 04-15-2011, 11:32 PM
sage's Avatar
sage sage is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 622
Default

Hi LR

I've been following your journey lately although I may have missed some strategic bits.

Can I give you a bit of feedback as an observer?

I'm wondering if Maca 'hating' GG is how his discomfort with your relationship is
manifesting? In other words your relationship isn't failing because he hates GG but Maca hates GG because your relationship with him failing.

Polyamory is an easy scapegoat for fundamental relationship problems. I'm trying to say this gently because I have great respect for you and I know you're in a lot of pain which I don't want to add to. But if you read back over your posting, some of it may also be on your other blog, it is very centred about what you want and your plans. This may just be the way you have expressed it but i wonder how much input into all your plans Maca has had?
Sometimes we can push too far in the opposite direction in reaction to what has been before.

When Maca responded to your issues with going to Orlando he actually sounded very lucid and grounded to me.

You obviously really miss Maca. When a relationship has reached it's conclusion you don't miss them, you're relieved to have them gone (my experience anyway) If I was you I would ask him how he is, and what he wants for his life. I would try and love him for Maca the person and not Maca the partner.
Reply With Quote
  #90  
Old 04-16-2011, 01:14 AM
Morningglory629's Avatar
Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: PA
Posts: 727
Default Missing vs Relief

The problem is LR wasn't feeling that the relationship was at an end, rather at a juncture (this is my perspective, I may be off base).

The question is LR...is Maca feeling it is over or is this an ultimatum kind of situation?
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
commitment, family oriented, love, lovingradiance, progress, v formation, vee dynamics

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:01 AM.