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Old 04-15-2011, 02:40 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Location: Canada
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Okay, now I would suggest the tag search of "moving" and "metamours"

It sounds like you could have a workable "vee" not a "triad." At least at this point. I would have her visit. See how you get along, start something in terms of a partnership from where she is, encourage the building of a metamour relationship between you partners and see how it goes.

After a time she could move closer to you. She would be better off establishing her own life on her own with a dose of you in there. This is healthier I believe. In poly, independence is crucial it seems as quite often people are on there own for periods of time.

The king size bed might be nice, but at this point, she doesn't know him and that is a lot of pressure for her. What you are saying is, "ya, you can be my partner, but only if you are with my boyfriend too." You might love him and enjoy that fantasy as does he, but it sounds like an ultimatum to me. She might even agree because she wants to be near you and it could be cool, but build up to it. That is just far too big of an assumption that it will work I would think.

Do some reading around here to get a sense of what tends to work for people and has a success rate. You will find your own way, but at least you will have an idea of what to expect.
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