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Old 04-14-2011, 01:22 PM
stargazer23's Avatar
stargazer23 stargazer23 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: South of the Mason-Dixon
Posts: 30
Default Whole new set of dating "rules?" Or do the old ones still apply?

So I've definitely identified myself as poly insomuch as I need to be free to share love with more than one person at a time and have multiple loves who meet my needs and I theirs.

My problem is: I'm not at all sure how to go about dating anymore. I mean, in a monogamous world, things are a bit simpler: you meet someone, hit it off and focus on one another exclusively for awhile. In the beginning, there are usually some awkward inner questions: "How does he/she feel about me? Where is this heading? Are we a couple?" But those are easy to resolve as the relationship progresses because there's a basic level of righteous presumption that monos take for granted. There's that whole "He's just not that into you" game that while trite and specious, can also sometimes be basic indicators of a person's true intent.

In this new world, I'm not sure where I stand with another. I feel it rude and intrusive to presume anything but a little silly asking someone I like in the new stages "How does this work? What's on your mind? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?" Such questions always left a bad taste in my mouth in the mono world and I don't see how they should any different here.

I consider it a matter of transcendence into selfless maturity to not need to be showered with someone's affection, but rather, to let them be free to meet their needs as they will, but I can't help wanting the experience of being thoroughly enamored and to feel that vibe coming back as well. I love the feeling of mutual twitterpation.

I'm maybe thinking this too much. I'm so new that I'm not even 100% certain what I'm going to want or need. I'm sure I also have some remnants of mono-limitation thought processes that I'm battling, but I can't help wonder: How do you know if a poly or swinger is into you, or just having a good time?

I don't know how to be anything but unabashedly honest in my questions here. If this is a little naive or unpolished, please do set me straight.


Last edited by stargazer23; 04-14-2011 at 01:58 PM. Reason: Punctuation error
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