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Old 04-14-2011, 09:25 AM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 906
Default Can an abusive relationship heal?

I debated for a long time where to post this, so mods, feel free to move this if another section strikes you as more appropriate.

So I am basically asking if anyone has experience with a relationship that has had a history of abuse and is no longer abusive? If so, what made you stick? I have struggled for years, am on medication, tried therapy but never got to speak of the real issues, but just last night after another tirade of verbal/emotional abuse via phone realized that as long as the other party is not willing to acknowledge what they do as abusive and willing to seek help, I can't really hope that anything will ever change.

I have tried to read on this non-violent communication stuff, has anyone experience with using that in this or similar contexts? Right now I've decided to distance myself a bit for emotional health reasons, but I do see it will not help things improve.

Am I just kidding myself in thinking that I can somehow break a decade-long pattern of abusive communication? I feel so much compassion for this person because they are so hurt and angry, and the last thing I want to do is to abandon them.
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
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abuse, communication, nvc, violence

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