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  #11  
Old 11-13-2010, 07:15 PM
freeantigone freeantigone is offline
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I saw E today for a day of art spotting. I was pretty nervous about going but had a lovely day. I felt very comfortable around him and the few times he touched me (very respectfully) - putting his arm in mine, stroking his hand along my shoulders, gently kissing me goodbye - felt lovely. I've been having second thoughts about him lately (I think because my desire for A is so strong) but today has really pushed me off the fence. Where my feeling for A is like being hit by a train, my feelings for E are gentle and delicate - they can sit untouched, almost invisible, and then come back to life with the gentlest breath.

Mr FA has said he's ok for me to start being physical with A and E if I wish - not PIV but just gentle fooling around, taking it slowly. A knows about this and is still getting his head round it (he's not very happy at all ATM, work and housing situations are making him very stressed. I'm worried about him ) and up until now I hadn't mentioned it to E as I wasn't sure how I felt about him. After today I've decided to tell him, and just sent him an email. It's got some ground rules in it - take it very slowly, he needs to get tested, we're going to use as much protection as we can - so he has to be happy with those.

We'll see...
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  #12  
Old 11-13-2010, 07:17 PM
freeantigone freeantigone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eklctc View Post
I feel bad for E. That is one of the things that upset me the most about people who don't know what they want. They tend to be misleading and then fail to see/acknowledge what they've done when it comes to the forefront. I hope E works through it.
Well he's still seeing her, and apparently she's ok with it being poly. He said to me today he's not sure if it'll work out and he imagines they'll just end up as friends, but he's seeing how it goes. Personally I think she's trouble, but we'll see.
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  #13  
Old 11-17-2010, 03:35 PM
freeantigone freeantigone is offline
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E took days to get back to me, partly due to being busy but also he's freaked out about getting tested. He's been poly for a while and has never been tested, and is worried about it.

He annoyed me a bit by being so quiet, but we're all made up now. I feel pretty good
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  #14  
Old 01-04-2011, 05:03 PM
freeantigone freeantigone is offline
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Blimey has it been this long? I've been so busy at work, moving house and catching various viruses that I've hardly been online.

A has met someone and is in a (mono) relationship now. That hurt, but he'd been quiet for a month or two due to work stress and finding somewhere to live that I feel we were drifting apart a little anyway. And, while this may sound harsh, A himself pointed out that his ability to maintain relationships for more than a few months is pretty crap so he may become available again soon. If this person does turn out to be 'the one' then that will hurt; but I'm trying not to think about that right now.

E and I have become closer: we see each other every few weeks to visit galleries, have lunch and some kisses and cuddles. His ex has reared her head a few times but he's fed up with her f**king him about and isn't going to put up with her anymore. I'm really glad because she's bad news. He has yet to get tested but he is going to: I've made it very clear that I don't want to do anything physical until he's been tested, and he's fine with that. I feel like we're getting closer emotionally which is lovely

Mr FA has had a few dates with S, and while she's still getting her head around a few things she's very interested. S and I get along well which is cool. I had a bit of a wobble last week when he saw her at ours (I went out with E for the day and he helped me through, which was lovely of him) and we're taking both of our respective other partnerships slowly.

All in all it's going pretty well, I just wish I had A in the mix too
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  #15  
Old 01-08-2011, 05:05 AM
eklctc eklctc is offline
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Hmm...A is in a mono now, huh, and only really has a few month timeframe on his relationships? He doesn't seem like someone that would be good for either style, imo, but I am glad he is obtaining what he desires ... I guess. Great to stay firm with E about the testing. I just don't get why people don't get tested (urine & blood) regularly anyway, sexually active or not. I'm glad you and FA are feeling out your journey. Take care.
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  #16  
Old 04-13-2011, 04:44 PM
freeantigone freeantigone is offline
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^Thanks for your post

Well, more drama. Work stress and more illness (I can't figure out if it's been one virus after another or a MEGA VIRUS that's been hanging around since October - maybe it's a polyamorous constellation of viruses and they're all out to get me! ) has meant my absence from this forum and thread.

E and I had a big bust up and didn't talk for a month or two. We're just starting to communicate again but it's made me think long and hard about what role I want him to have in my life. I'm still not sure, but I doubt I'll be able to be sexual with him.

A has been a kind and constant friend, he's admitted that he is too insecure for us to be FWB at the moment. Maybe that will change, maybe not, but I'm OK with the relationship being what it is destined to.

I met a lovely guy T about 6 weeks ago who I clicked with very quickly. After a miscommunication and an odd 3rd date he left the country both literally (working in Taiwan until May) and electronically (did not reply to emails or txts) I'm really not sure what (if anything) will happen when he returns to the UK. I'd like us to start again and see what we can work out so, even if he ignores me (which is likely) I'm going to email him when he's back on home soil and ask him out for a date. Just a coffee, maybe a wander round a museum, take it slow. We'll see.

I am starting to wonder if I'm going to encounter the same problems as Mr FA - finding suitable partners. S has been very odd since I last posted, I'm not sure anything is going to work out between them which is a shame. There's too much stuff going on in her head for it to work right now.

I'm tired of looking for partners, and Mr FA is flagging too. So we're going to focus on each other a bit more and consider our options. It may be that neither of us find anyone soon.
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