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  #71  
Old 04-13-2011, 04:04 AM
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Default Idealist Poly Blog Part 40- YES!!!

Brenda and I spent the day together in New Orleans. We went back to our room about 5:00PM to "freshen up". She took a shower and then I did. We put on our pajamas and enjoyed lounging around, being affectionate and talking. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I returned I did so without my pajamas!!

Our plan to get dressed and go out that evening changed immediately!!

It was a great day and evening!! In the morning, she didn't have an issue with the fact that she was leaving and Richard would be joining me. She understands (because I told her) that Richard (or any of the guys I see) can not provide me with what she gives me.

The interesting thing about our sexual experience was that I wasn't sure what she would be like in a sexually intimate setting since she presents a butch image. She has beautiful thick long blond streaked hair (below her shoulders) but she doesn't wear make-up and she dresses pretty butch- definitely androgynous.

Well.....OMG!!! when she takes her clothes off, she is total woman!! So feminine and her energy is so very feminine!!! I thoroughly enjoyed being with her and I feel so much closer to her now!!!

Can't wait to see where things go from here!!!
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Last edited by ImaginaryIllusion; 06-14-2011 at 02:17 AM. Reason: Names
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  #72  
Old 04-13-2011, 04:34 PM
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I thoroughly enjoyed being with her and I feel so much closer to her now!!!

Can't wait to see where things go from here!!!
Happy for you!!!
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  #73  
Old 04-14-2011, 02:43 AM
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Default Idealist Poly Blog Part 41- Gliding on NRE

Just some of my thoughts and opinions about NRE.
NRE is so intoxicating that there is an impulse to feed it by spending as much time with your new love interest as possible.

I would like to suggest another way to approach it!!

First of all, the magic ingredient of NRE is chemistry. Powerful chemistry between two people is almost tangible and not only does it draw people together, but it is so compelling that it will keep people together when a relationship without chemistry would have faltered long before.

So- when you have powerful chemistry with someone, just remember this. Powerful chemistry doesn't just go away. It is dynamic and steady....you can depend on it to remain constant.

step 1- identify that you definately have profound chemistry
step 2- remind yourself of the long term affects of a real chemistry

Now- what I would suggest for step 3 is different from what our impulses tell us.

step 3- create some boundaries.

Get to know each other. Don't talk every day. Just spend enough time together to test the chemistry by flirting, kissing etc. Don't have sex yet.

does anyone agree with me???
feedback would be great!!!

I am so convinced of my perceptions of NRE and how to ride it to it's fullness that I would like to discuss it and especially with people who disagree with me!!!
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  #74  
Old 06-13-2011, 06:25 AM
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Hunh?
lol! This is my guess, but I only scrolled back two pages so I could be wrong...or there could be more...

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Originally Posted by idealist View Post
I spoke with J*** on the phone Sunday and was surprised at what he shared with me. Come to find out, after all these years, he has been withholding some of his feelings from me. Apparently he talked to a therapist about it and realized that he needed to come clean with me. We have been talking about meeting in Dallas for a Festival in September. The discussions about seeing each other again has led to lots of discussions and during those discussions, he admitted that he has been uncomfortable with my bisexuality ever since he’s known me (about 11 years). We dated monogamously for 3 years and then 1 ˝ year. Why did this never come up before?? I guess what brought it up now is the fact that I have decided to act out on my bisexuality and he is uncomfortable with that.
If this is you eb330033, and your uncomfortable with her sexual orientation...My advice would be to NOT read her blog, its hot stuff! and its only adding fuel to the fire so its not gonna make letting go any easier for you. And I wouldn't worry J*** is a very common name, you'll be fine.

And now going back to minding my own business
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  #75  
Old 06-13-2011, 06:39 AM
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HA! Its a woman! My guess was way off! That'll teach me for being nosy!
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  #76  
Old 06-14-2011, 03:09 AM
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If this is you eb330033, and your uncomfortable with her sexual orientation...My advice would be to NOT read her blog, its hot stuff! and its only adding fuel to the fire so its not gonna make letting go any easier for you. And I wouldn't worry J*** is a very common name, you'll be fine.
And now going back to minding my own business
Just wondering Gecko---- what are you talking about?!?!??!
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  #77  
Old 06-14-2011, 03:31 AM
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Gecko----That relationship was over a year ago....water under the bridge. You must be confusing John with someone else!! Anyway- no worries!!!
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  #78  
Old 06-14-2011, 03:42 AM
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I totally was! How embarrassing for me, lol
My apologies to 'John' haha!
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  #79  
Old 06-14-2011, 03:49 AM
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It's okay- John doesn't read this site!!!
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  #80  
Old 06-22-2011, 04:54 AM
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Default Idealist Poly Blog Part 42- Yeah for the occassional Spontaneous Sexual Encounter!!

It seems to me that polyamory attracts a lot of emotional people. I totally get that….. polyamory is about a heartfelt connection…..that’s what I want. For me, it’s not satisfying be sexually involved with someone I am not emotionally connected to. So- I do seek these types of connections.

At the same time, when given the opportunity for a high intensity sexual experience on the first night of meeting someone- well, sometimes I just have to Go For It!!! Especially when the “someone” is a couple and I’m attracted to both of them!!

After participating on a couples dating site, Richard and I had met over a dozen couples, but none of these connections were mutually emotionally compatible all the way around. So- we decided to give up on that for a while.

I got involved with Brenda (had to re-name her) and that was going good for a while, but ended recently. Although I am polyamorous, I had decided not to see other women while I was seeing Brenda and that worked out for me….as long there was hope for us as a couple. Once that hope was gone, I became restless

So- I decided to advertise as a single for a while and see what happens. I am well aware that the available single bisexual woman is highly sought after by couples. So, I figured- what the heck.

So, recently a couple contacted me. I could tell by the photos that I would be attracted to her. He didn’t look so attractive, but I had a feeling that he is one of those charismatic guys and sure enough- that was the case!!

We met for drinks and dinner. Within 10 minutes, I knew I was attracted to both of them and liked them a lot! He is a really cool guy also!!! I asked them if they wanted to come to my house and they said they did.

We sat outside on the patio talking. I went into the house for a few minutes and when I returned I asked how they were feeling. I wanted to get her into the Jacuzzi with me!! They said that they were both attracted to me also, but that she had to work early the next morning. So- I asked her what time she needed to get to sleep- she said about 9:30. It was already 7:30, but I promised I’d have them out of here by 9:00 which I did!! OMG- it was awesome. Sometimes a good spontaneous sexual encounter is just what the doctor ordered!!!
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