Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Spirituality & Polyamory

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 04-09-2011, 05:19 PM
detritus's Avatar
detritus detritus is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 34
Default

It's a really great book. I'm currently reading it and I also bought the audiobook by Tara Brach called Meditations for Emotional Healing and finding both very helpful in getting past a lot of the emotional baggage I have from growing up that's making the change to poly in my marriage difficult. It's definitely worth a read.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 04-10-2011, 07:40 PM
MindfulAgony's Avatar
MindfulAgony MindfulAgony is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 192
Default

I'll have to order this book. Looks really interesting!
__________________
Male, Straight, Poly

OKC Profile

Blogs:
Mind Crush
sloetry

“Instead of getting better and better at avoiding, learn to accept the present moment as if you had invited it. And work with it instead of against it. And making it your ally rather than your enemy.”
-Pema Chodron
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 04-10-2011, 07:46 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,373
Default

I bought it a while back and haven't started it yet. For some reason, over the past few years, I have a really hard time reading books. It takes me forever to get started, and to get through them. I used to be a voracious, fast reader. Anyway, I will post here after I've gotten through it, I promise!
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 04-10-2011, 11:29 PM
River's Avatar
River River is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 1,894
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Anyway, I will post here after I've gotten through it, I promise!
Why not after reading the first chapter, or two?

Even I have not finished the book! It's okay to give it time, take it at your own pace.
__________________
bi, partnered, available

River's Blog
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 04-11-2011, 03:12 AM
Catfish Catfish is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: America's High Five
Posts: 299
Default

So, Radical Acceptance has been a doorway for me. I, too, haven't finished it. It's intense like that. At the beginning, it resonated with me. "The trance of fear" is a state I know well. So I dove into it. I began meditating and using the techniques described to good effect. I felt calmer. I learned to get in touch with my senses on a deeper level and occupy the space I'm in with compassionate attention. Really investigating my physical presence and at the same time experiencing the regularly scheduled noise of my thoughts. I learned to feel fear and not be ashamed of it. Not to judge my experience, but simply experience it. That was liberating. In a sense, I could now stand outside myself and witness the process of my jealousy, my doubts, my ancient pains... and feel compassion for myself. What a gift!

I have since stopped formally meditating and started doing other things meditatively. Running, walking the dogs, working with my hands. Simply pausing throughout the day and consciously examining the moment I'm in is enough for now. I have dug deep enough for the time being. I have plenty to work with and plenty to work on. To be honest, it got a little exhausting. I imagine I'll return to the book now and again until I've finished it, but right now I'm in no hurry.
__________________
Concern yourself less with love and more with loving.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 04-12-2011, 04:36 PM
River's Avatar
River River is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 1,894
Default

Beautiful!

I, too, am in no hurry.

In any case, working with words / thoughts / ideas / books / the written word occupies a LOT of my daily life. So it's nothing for me to slowly work through a bunch of books over time -- all going at once.

By the way, Catfish, I'm sorry for not having responded to your email request. I wanted to provide a kind of mini biography, but that was too daunting and it caused me to procrastinate. I'll be in touch by email soon.
__________________
bi, partnered, available

River's Blog
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 04-14-2011, 03:21 AM
Catfish Catfish is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: America's High Five
Posts: 299
Default

No worries, my friend. Take your time.
__________________
Concern yourself less with love and more with loving.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 06-04-2011, 02:45 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,373
Default

I finally started this book and was floored by how much of myself I saw in the author's opening description of her life and how much self-hatred runs so many of us.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 06-04-2011, 09:35 PM
River's Avatar
River River is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 1,894
Default

nycindie,

My favorite quote from Rilke is "Live the questions".

Is it self-hatered that runs us? Or is it self-ignorance? How do these relate? Are they the same? How? (etc.)....

As it seems to me at the moment, I did not grow up in a culture that really supported and encouraged self-knowledge. In many respects, indeed, I seem to be one of millions of folks here who have been encouraged to supplant actual self-knowledge with a pseudo version (psuedo? whatever!). Self-knowledge, then, begins with stealing fire, with traipsing out away from the crowd and the proper, normal, accepted, acceptable norms.... Not that all truth is outside of the "norms," rather, there's no testing of gold against fools gold witout risking the discovery that one has invested in the latter.

That risk is the beginning place of genuine self-discovery. It is also its endpoint. Seen rightly.

Welcome home!
__________________
bi, partnered, available

River's Blog
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 06-04-2011, 09:50 PM
River's Avatar
River River is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 1,894
Default

Wild Geese


You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

~ Mary Oliver
__________________
bi, partnered, available

River's Blog
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
books, reading

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 09:51 AM.