The Yellow House
When I was little, I had a dream about this house. It was big and yellow with hardwood floors. There were lots of windows and it was always a place of calm and beauty. As I've gotten older, I feel like I've missed the mark in terms of what I always wanted out of life.
I'm currently working through a nasty break up and while it was devastating, it's provided me the perfect opportunity to rebuild all the things that aren't working for me. For the last month or so, I'd been seriously depressed to the point of feeling like there was no way to create the future I want. Last week, I had a total meltdown and a few of my friends spent the night talking me out of my hopelessness. The last week has gone by so slowly but I'm starting to function more normally and feel optimistic about the future.
Just knowing that people really cared about what happens to me was huge! They've been so supportive, checking in with me and encouraging me to get back into the stuff I love. I've been training martial arts more and I had really missed it! I reconnected with my teacher and told her how depressed I'd been and about my melt down.
As much as I'm still heartbroken, part of me feels like I was set free. Free to enjoy friendships with whomever I please and free to find relationships that don't make me feel like I have to hold back.