Coming out

[aussielover]

Originally Posted by Sunshinegrl

I have one friend who is a bit silly about it all. Especially after Her mum seen AL and I out and Seen me grab her on the bum. hehe

Ahh yes, as she said the "grope session" clearly our hands were all over each other at Target.
Ooh, this friend too, last week, asked me how my weekend was, I told her I was a bit sore (I had been to my first tai bo class the day before) she right away laughs and says "I don't think I want to know" Like I was about to complain from being sore from sex. ummmm noooooooooo, don't think so.

[greenearthal]

I am fortunate to have been raised by a mother who would have been fine with it. And presently I have very few ties that can deeply affect me, so I feel free to be completely publicly poly. I try very hard not to be "in your face" poly, but I also don't shy away from it in any situations. I try to play very nonchalant about it but, if I'm totally honest, I have to admit that I have gotten a little charge out of it the first time a phrase like "my other girlfriend" or "my girlfriend's other boyfriend" would come up in conversations with my old boss or other similarly socially conservative people.

[sea]

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG

There are very few people I let into my life or develop true connection with. There are even less that I care about thier opinions of me. I really don't care how most view my life and am more concerned about how those I love are treated. I can be isolated without great impact, it's disrespect towards my chosen family that will get a response.

In general though, I find as soon as people see us together they relax and see that we are happy. If they can't see past thier own shit and handle it, fuck them. As long as they aren't hurting my family I'm cool with not interacting with them. If thier intention is to hurt my family then I'm perfectly happy to interact with them on that level as well

Well said, no sense wasting time worrying about what people who have no bearing on your life think!!

[sweetie]

I don't think there is an easy road. People will think what they think. You can let the whispers and finger pointing make you insecure, but keep in mind, you don't take those people home with you. What they think is of no real consequence. The people who know you, who accept you, who love you, they are the only ones who matter.

[NIMchimpsky]

I say just ignore those people. I ignore those people along with the homophobes and the transphobes, etc.

Then again ignoring pointing fingers is a whole lot easier when you're deafblind.

I really like what sweetie said. The only people whose opinion matters are the ones you take home and the ones that care about you and love you.

nim

[Tia]

I think if they love you, and you present as happy and centered when you tell them, then they should be happy for you - but they can still worry. My mother ALWAYS worries about me when I talk about a new boyfriend (and my father gets terribly uncomfortable.. I think because he doesn't like the thought of me having sex.. haha).

Now I am opening myself to polyamory I don't expect that to change (though I am sure my mother will gossip about me much more with her husband when I tell her about my new girlfriend AND boyfriend.. haha)...

But sadly our loved ones often have their own insecurities & demons which they might project onto our situations. If you care about your relationship with these people then it's worth remembering that and maybe being patient and more than a little forgiving I think. Let them see you all together.. and how truly happy and at ease you are.. how much you love & support each other... it might make them less judgemental...

There is also (I have found from the friends I've told this last few weeks) a BIG propensity to associate poly attitudes with a desire/freedom for promiscuity. Ha.. I just laugh with them.. let them have their little envious fantasies (I don't blame them tbh, my new loves are both STUNNING!).

In time they will see how dedicated I am to my loves. That I'm not sleeping around and that we are all an important part of each others lives. I am just learning about this lifestyle myself, and my acceptance of it didn't happen instantly. It would be very unfair of me to expect theirs to.

[XYZ123]

I don't deal with it. I tell people on a "need to know" basis. Or if I feel they will handle it well. Most of my friends know, with the exception of people whos friendship is based more on their child's relationship with my son. I don't feel a need to tell them since the friendship on our part is more superficial and the only person who will be really affected by their opinion is my child. Quite a few of my family members know. I've told the ones I know are more accepting. But there are others in my family who still think interracial marriage is taboo-forget gay or poly or anything else. Aside from my father (who thinks this way) I really have nothing to do with those relatives. My dad I haven't told directly but I try very hard to break down his prejudice whenever I get the chance. He's accepting my husband is Hispanic and sis's fiance is black so it's progress. People I CHOOSE to have in my life for myself know. Because I chose them in part for their open minds and acceptance of others. I try not to associate with judgmental and closed minded people whenever possible. And no one needs to know whom I don't want to tell.

Right now my husband and I are again in a mono relationship, so it isn't a big deal not to run around being open about poly. Should we form another relationship we'll worry about it then.

[Nyx]

Originally Posted by YGirl

Having said all that, I am not "practicing" a polyamorous lifestyle at this time, but I do cat rescue, and people judge me for that, so I do know what I am talking about after all.

Yeah we know all about you cat rescue people....!!

[NeonKaos]

Originally Posted by Nyx

Yeah we know all about you cat rescue people....!!

I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean?

[WaywardDruid]

Just Me,
Tim