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  #21  
Old 04-01-2011, 06:31 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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  #22  
Old 04-01-2011, 06:59 PM
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It took my husband years to be ok with the IDEA of me potentially being with another man (which has never happened yet so when (if?) it does it will be interesting to see what the reaction to it is then). The thing is that there is an awful lot of societal conditioning that is ingrained into men about having to "protect" their women from other men. It's not something that you just get over overnight. You've only been together a couple of months and this is LAMs first exposure to poly. Give him some time for the ideas to sink in.
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  #23  
Old 04-01-2011, 09:28 PM
PolyNrrdGrrl PolyNrrdGrrl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
How do you feel about LAM's bisexuality? Is it a factor for you that he is hooking up with another man instead of another woman?
oh not at all. what bothers me about it is the double standard - as if there's a difference between same-sex relations and opposite.
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  #24  
Old 04-01-2011, 11:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PolyNrrdGrrl View Post
oh not at all. what bothers me about it is the double standard - as if there's a difference between same-sex relations and opposite.
While I disagree with this idea, I believe that it is that one is a difference in hardware, while the other is a difference in soulware.

It is less threatening to believe you feel a need to be with another because you need a pussy and he doesn't have one, just as he needs a cock and you don't have one. No sense of inadequacy is invoked. Whereas if you were with another man, then it becomes about what is on the inside.

I think this point of view is pretty wrong-headed, but it does have a certain logic to it and is fairly common.
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  #25  
Old 04-03-2011, 03:36 AM
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Hi completely new here so you may think "aaannndd who's this guy?"

In refference to penny I do very much agree. In my relationship we agreed to allowing purely sexual relations as it was a LDR before moving on to most recently admitting were fine to having proper relationships just because we saw it as less of a danger to our own.

The best advice I can give to LAM is take a step back unplug and tell yourself "We havent been that long dont think of myself as primary this may not last at all, just settle down before I get any ideas about "my girl". " This doesnt have to be true but just putting yourself in that mindset for a moment can let you think a little more calmly and not worry so much about laying down boundairies. You may find after a bit you can start to talk to PNG about her relationships without automatically worrying she'll be there one day and elope the next.
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  #26  
Old 04-03-2011, 02:40 PM
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Excellent advice, from whoever the hell that guy was.
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