Poly Dating Site?

[koifish]

I like okc.

[TL4everu2]

Once again, OKC has sucked for me.

I re-did my account on there. As did my wife. Within an HOUR of re-opening her account, she had e-mails. I re-opened mine about 3 months ago, and still have yet to recieve an e-mail, OR a response to any I have sent.

In an experiment, I had that account closed, and had my wife open a new one for me. This time, she did the description and added the pics she thought would be best. Still nothing....So she started looking around on there FOR me. She found a person she thought I would like, and started a conversation with her. Turns out she and I (this new girl) are completely different. She is into the whole bondage thing and being a "slave", etc. I'm totally NOT into that. I act out a dom occasionally for my wife because she likes that, but I can't hold up the act long. My wife likes to be restrained.....I can't stand it.

So, I finally, after 2 or 3 e-mails to/from this lady, told my wife that if SHE wanted to talk to this lady (who is also bi) and possibly hook up with her, then by all means, go for it.....But that I was NOT going to keep on talking to her.

It's not like I'm not active on the site either. I take quizes, andswer different things, send out e-mails to the 2 or 3 women who are actually in my area who are decnet looking....AND bi.

I don't have to find just ANY unicorn...I have to find a PURPLE one....with a pink horn and blue eyes and red hooves. Whatever....I've given up anyway.

Dating has either changed...Or I just always sucked at it. LOL

[nycindie]

Originally Posted by TL4everu2

I take quizes, andswer different things, send out e-mails to the 2 or 3 women who are actually in my area who are decnet looking....AND bi.

I don't have to find just ANY unicorn...I have to find a PURPLE one....with a pink horn and blue eyes and red hooves. Whatever....I've given up anyway.

Hey TL, I was under the impression that, since you've been looking for a guy for LT, that you two were interested in having separate relationships for now. Couldn't you look for a woman just for you, if LT has a guy just for her? In that case, you wouldn't need to limit yourself to bi women, or a "unicorn" situation where you have to share her (gosh, I'm really beginning to hate that term). Might be easier to find someone, maybe?

What's your username on OKC?

[TL4everu2]

Originally Posted by nycindie

Hey TL, I was under the impression that, since you've been looking for a guy for LT, that you two were interested in having separate relationships for now. Couldn't you look for a woman just for you, if LT has a guy just for her? In that case, you wouldn't need to limit yourself to bi women, or a "unicorn" situation where you have to share her (gosh, I'm really beginning to hate that term). Might be easier to find someone, maybe?

What's your username on OKC?

No. Per L's request. She is not comfortable with me going out alone with anyone right now. And if I find someone who I like, she must be bi, so we are all together the first few times. This is so that L can feel more comfortable with the woman. I respect that, and therefore don't look for any women who are not bi. The problem, is that even here in a large city like Tampa bay, there are only 3 pages of women who match my criteria and live within a 50 mile radius of me.

In her defense, I do something similar with her. (albeit for different reasons) I go out wiht her on her first few dates with a guy. I do this to let the guy know that I AM her husband, but more importantly, to make sure she doesn't get put into a bad or dangerous situation. This is also per her request.

I recently said what you did... about looking for straight women also....but it isn't something she is comfortable with........so...I wait patiently. Today, I pointed out a woman who was straight. This woman was an 84% match for me....but to my wife, this woman was only a 63% match. She said "See? We'll never find a woman who is a match for both of us.". So I pointed her to the last guy who was a good "match" for her. He was like a 92% match to her, but a 66% match to me...as well as a 33% enemy to me. I turned it around and said "See? We'll never find a guy who is a match to both of us".......but whatever.

I need to stop posting right now...My back is killing me, and I'm irratable...Which may cause me to type things that I don't mean...Or things which are simply mean. I WANT this to work......But don't know how.

[lovemultiplied]

My husband and I are on okcupid....and it's been pretty kind to us. Lol

[nycindie]

Originally Posted by TL4everu2

No. Per L's request. She is not comfortable with me going out alone with anyone right now.

Got it. Cool - I understand. I just thought that you two were doing something different now, because of your posts about looking for a guy for her. Til then I thought that you had only been interested in a triad, so I misunderstood.

Originally Posted by TL4everu2

This woman was an 84% match for me....but to my wife, this woman was only a 63% match. She said "See? We'll never find a woman who is a match for both of us.". So I pointed her to the last guy who was a good "match" for her. He was like a 92% match to her, but a 66% match to me...as well as a 33% enemy to me. I turned it around and said "See? We'll never find a guy who is a match to both of us".......but whatever.

I take those match percentages with a grain of salt. I mean, do you really want someone who's just like you? LOL. I think anywhere from the 60s and up could be good. The people I'm a 90% match with usually don't work out, for some reason.

[TL4everu2]

Originally Posted by nycindie

I take those match percentages with a grain of salt. I mean, do you really want someone who's just like you? LOL. I think anywhere from the 60s and up could be good. The people I'm a 90% match with usually don't work out, for some reason.

Oddly enough, My wife, is a 95% match to me....and I am a 94% match to her. We think it's pretty cool.And the more questions I answer, and she answers, the higher our match percentage goes. LOL After 20 years together, I think we think a lot alike...and yes...I LOVE being around others who are very similar to me. I would be bored as HELL at a cat show or dog show....and I'm sure the woman who enjoys those sorts of things, would be HORRIFIED at the thought of going to watch UFC at Winghouse. (I could be wrong) So yeah, I want someone who is as much like me, as possible.

[MindfulAgony]

Originally Posted by TL4everu2

No. Per L's request. She is not comfortable with me going out alone with anyone right now. And if I find someone who I like, she must be bi, so we are all together the first few times. This is so that L can feel more comfortable with the woman. I respect that, and therefore don't look for any women who are not bi. The problem, is that even here in a large city like Tampa bay, there are only 3 pages of women who match my criteria and live within a 50 mile radius of me.

In her defense, I do something similar with her. (albeit for different reasons) I go out wiht her on her first few dates with a guy. I do this to let the guy know that I AM her husband, but more importantly, to make sure she doesn't get put into a bad or dangerous situation. This is also per her request.

I recently said what you did... about looking for straight women also....but it isn't something she is comfortable with........so...I wait patiently. Today, I pointed out a woman who was straight. This woman was an 84% match for me....but to my wife, this woman was only a 63% match. She said "See? We'll never find a woman who is a match for both of us.". So I pointed her to the last guy who was a good "match" for her. He was like a 92% match to her, but a 66% match to me...as well as a 33% enemy to me. I turned it around and said "See? We'll never find a guy who is a match to both of us".......but whatever.

I need to stop posting right now...My back is killing me, and I'm irratable...Which may cause me to type things that I don't mean...Or things which are simply mean. I WANT this to work......But don't know how.

Unfortunately, her restriction is way more restricting than yours. Even though there are many more bi women than (openly) bi guys. Insisting that you attend the first several dates with a new person is just not in the same category as insisting that you find a bi girl that will have a relationship with both of you.

If I were in your situation - because of the vast difference in degree of difficulty - I wouldn't do them in parralel. You absolutely risk having the poly experiment going down in flames because one partner is - structurally not because anyone is acting badly - left out in the cold.

Find the unicorn first. No other relationships pursued. Thusly, everyone has the same skin in the game, everyone is experiencing the same frustrations, eveyone is dedicating the same time and attention on the problem. Once unicorn is located, compatibiliity assessed and woo'd, then you can proceed with other poly adventures.

As it stands, seems like set up for failure given the conditions, location, and personalities involved. Because it is what I would call a "structural problem," you increase your chances of fixing it with a structural solution.

Finding a compatible unicorn (I guess we don't call them that for nothing) will not get any easier. It will take time, patience, and continued frustration. OKCupid is not going to solve those problem for you, even if it can facilitate the process of identification and assessment.

I do hope your prospects improve.

[TL4everu2]

Mindful, Oh how we miss Seattle. It was such an open minded town. Oh well...We are in Clearwater Fl now...So...Here we are.

I somewhat agree with you.

[RedCanna]

Hi, Was such a site ever established? Thanks