Originally Posted by moose
we do have one particular friend i would love to bring into our relationship but i don't know how to approach my wife.
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
The introduction of a baby will tend to strain even the best of relationships due to less time for each other and certainly a lot less physical intimacy.
I would strongly recommend putting your own needs on hold for a while in this area. Seriously, suck it up and let your family settle in.
Excellent advice from Mono, which is true whether you're interested in "exploring poly" or not. I have noticed that the best advice is not only timely, but versatile.
Having said that, warning bells and fanfare always go off for me when I hear of someone in a hitherto monogamous couple (or "closed dyad" if you prefer) speak of "bringing someone else into our relationship" or "finding a third to complete us". Language is a very precise and subtle thing and is as much a part of our social/cultural conditioning as monogamism or aversion to cannibalism. When trying to frame things in "polyamorous" context, it speaks volumes about what's going on in someone's subconscious when they say they want to "ADD
someone to OUR
relationship", rather than saying "My partner and I would like to PURSUE
or EXPLORE a
this other person."