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Old 09-21-2009, 04:23 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
Posts: 3,217

Originally Posted by moose View Post
we do have one particular friend i would love to bring into our relationship but i don't know how to approach my wife.
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
The introduction of a baby will tend to strain even the best of relationships due to less time for each other and certainly a lot less physical intimacy.

I would strongly recommend putting your own needs on hold for a while in this area. Seriously, suck it up and let your family settle in.
Excellent advice from Mono, which is true whether you're interested in "exploring poly" or not. I have noticed that the best advice is not only timely, but versatile.

Having said that, warning bells and fanfare always go off for me when I hear of someone in a hitherto monogamous couple (or "closed dyad" if you prefer) speak of "bringing someone else into our relationship" or "finding a third to complete us". Language is a very precise and subtle thing and is as much a part of our social/cultural conditioning as monogamism or aversion to cannibalism. When trying to frame things in "polyamorous" context, it speaks volumes about what's going on in someone's subconscious when they say they want to "ADD someone to OUR relationship", rather than saying "My partner and I would like to PURSUE or EXPLORE a relationship WITH this other person."

Last edited by NeonKaos; 09-21-2009 at 04:26 PM.
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