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  #41  
Old 03-24-2011, 10:50 AM
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Penny Penny is offline
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I haven't had any problems yet, though I'm sure it will come up sometime. My mom is happy that my relationship with my husband doesn't appear to be in any danger, my friends are fond of all three of us, Thumper's brother doesn't care.

I am affectionate in a cuddly, hand-holding way with Thumper and T-Rex when we go out in public. It would take an effort of will not to touch them, just like it would not to kiss and cuddle my daughter, which I do a lot. I've gotten a couple of startled looks and one, "Well, she looks happy," when I had this stupid dreamy smile on because the guys were being snuggly with me.

I get amused, admiring smiles from other women. Probably because I look so damn happy.

I know I'll catch some crap for this from somebody, sometime, but it's been amazingly smooth sailing so far.
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  #42  
Old 03-24-2011, 07:06 PM
Kika Kika is offline
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Wow, I guess almost everyone has the same problems now and then. I think things will blow over with my family. They'll get over it. I'm just happy that all my friends seem to think it's cute ^_^.

@HappiestManAlive: I'm sorry you got so much shit from people! That's terrible. Also, I can't believe someone on a poly forum would say things like that too. Maybe they were a troll?

@Redpepper: I hope your family will come to accept or at least be able to live with your life style. It totally sucks when the people close to you give you grief.

@Penny: That's so cute! I can totally imagine the cuddles and the dreamy face. I think the girls who see you probably think it's cute too. They probably wish they were you ^^. I feel like there is a double standard when it comes to MMF and FFM relationships. To me is seems, when people see a women with two men, people view that women as sexy, charming, and maybe even powerful? People seem to think, "Oh, she must be amazing because she is with two guys!" But then when people see a FFM relationship they think, "Whoa, look at that pimp! He's such a chauvinist! And those girls must be weak and stupid to be with him." (=____=) I hate that.
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  #43  
Old 03-24-2011, 08:12 PM
HappiestManAlive HappiestManAlive is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kika
I'm sorry you got so much shit from people! That's terrible.
A lot of it has to do with the age gap (I'm 13 years older then Violet and Lana, 10 years older than Adrian) and the fact that they're all insanely hot and their profession. They're all 3 strippers, which somehow makes it different than if they had "regular" jobs and adds to the pimp thing. If they were all overweight middle aged waitresses and office workers (no offense to the middle aged and not stick thin members here, just making a point), I'd be just another guy in a poly relationship. But dating 3 beautiful young exotic dancers means I'm taking advantage of them - even though I've already stated that they pursued me and not the other way around, Violet opened the relationship to poly not me, I do everything in my power to let them be young and silly and treat them as equals (to me and each other), and they were all dancers before I met them, it's not like I "put them to work".

Stripping is a legitimate career choice in this town, ESPECIALLY in this economy, and the stigma that follows it is as bad or worse than that of poly. Combine the two, and... Well, it's seldom positive. Throw in the stigma of any guy that dates a stripper, much less 3...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kika
Also, I can't believe someone on a poly forum would say things like that too. Maybe they were a troll?
I wish. No, they are still valuable members here. Violet posted a couple of rants about the situation, I posted another take on it, most of the board sided with her (because, apparently, there were "sides"). You'll see that the poor miserable female in any FFM situation gets the lions share of support here, the guy is the fall guy most of the time. Just like IRL, lol.
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  #44  
Old 03-26-2011, 02:27 AM
preciselove preciselove is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HappiestManAlive View Post
Stripping is a legitimate career choice in this town, ESPECIALLY in this economy, and the stigma that follows it is as bad or worse than that of poly. Combine the two, and... Well, it's seldom positive. Throw in the stigma of any guy that dates a stripper, much less 3...
That's an interesting thing you've got going there. Do you ever feel like dressing up like a pimp just for fun to annoy people? Big fur suit, big hat.... It's the kind of thing I'd do. haha!

Quote:
Originally Posted by HappiestManAlive View Post
I wish. No, they are still valuable members here. Violet posted a couple of rants about the situation, I posted another take on it, most of the board sided with her (because, apparently, there were "sides"). You'll see that the poor miserable female in any FFM situation gets the lions share of support here, the guy is the fall guy most of the time. Just like IRL, lol.
Yah until the female(s) of a FFM triad come along I have a guess a lot of other females likely think the worst about the guy in one. Until people see the relationship dynamics in real life I don't think anyone can really grasp the situation and they just have their own ideas.

FFM does raise the hair up on the typical feminist, though I'm not sure how many "real feminists" are here? A MMF situation for the feminist is like "yeah 'bout time girl-friend, uh huh, you get dem men under your control" . *Note I embrace what women can do and place no restrictions on them, I obviously think women are great as I have 2 of them.

The reality is, for every woman a FFM takes away from men in general, theres another poly woman taking an extra man, so in the end it kinda balances out I think. Though maybe we'll have to get redpepper or one of the other girls here to take an extra man for you with your 3.
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  #45  
Old 03-26-2011, 03:56 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Originally Posted by preciselove View Post
Though maybe we'll have to get redpepper or one of the other girls here to take an extra man for you with your 3.
Whaaaat. I have three male loves (actually, another on hold at the moment too!) and a "gurllllly" HMA, you need to get a boy in your life and then we will even up the score HA! so funny

Just for the record I am so not competitive,,, I hope that when Derby sees this she doesn't bring it and try and find me more partners just to compete!

Meh, really, I am just livin it and then get an overwhelming "holy shit" feeling when I think of my life. I just fly by the seat of my pants and smile really... I would think that HMA does the same... stopping to think about it? There is just not time. Besides, there are plenty who have filled their life with loves... they just don't have time to write here!!!! its all a matter of degrees of relationship in the end actually.
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  #46  
Old 03-26-2011, 11:19 PM
HappiestManAlive HappiestManAlive is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preciselove
Do you ever feel like dressing up like a pimp just for fun to annoy people? Big fur suit, big hat.... It's the kind of thing I'd do. haha!
It doesn't help that long before the poly thing came around, I was known for my awesome Fedora collection, to the point where some people don't recognize me without one. Throw in the fact that with my injury I frequently walk with a cane...

Arguably the cutest/funniest moment in our relationship history:

We're planning an all of us night out at our favorite locals spot. The girls tell me they want to get all dressed up and really make a splash, and essentially lock me out of the 2nd floor of the house (where the two main bathrooms are) for upwards of 3 hours while they get ready. During this time, I get a phone call from an important business contact who is in town for a couple of days and wants to meet with me - at the same place we're going, he likes it there, hey actually I was just on my way there, fortunate coincidence, cool seeya there. No biggie, I can leave our table for a bit and talk to him.

The girls come out to the car.

All three of them dressed up - over the top like cheap streetwalkers.

Tight miniskirts, pushup bras, long blond wigs for two of them, tacky fishnets, stripper heels and thigh-high gogo boots, WAY too much makeup, leather mini-jackets, bustiers - coulda been Halloween or the corner of Arville and Tropicana at 2:30 a.m.

They thought it was hysterical - that morning at breakfast somebody had made the pimp comment, so they thought it was funny and decided to play it up for the night just to make me uncomfortable.

Me - "Ummm - girls..."

Them - various themes on "Oh C'mon, it's just for fun. Play with it!"

Me - "Yeah... Rick just called. He's meeting me - at The Olive - in half an hour."

The Olive is 20 minutes away.

Them - "..." "..." "..."

Me - "Yeah......."

Actually Rick is a very open minded guy and after it sunk in that they were in fact all my girlfriends (he already knew Violet and had met Lana but when she was "just a friend") he thought it was funny as hell and all went well.

But yikes, LMAO.

It didn't help that over the course of the night, after Rick had left, Adrian got a little too drunk and was half passed out in my lap, the other two girls fawning over her and hanging on me, running to the bathroom to get things for her, asking me to order them drinks and hookah... To anyone looking, the effect was complete, lol.

Ah well. Even Violet looks back on that night as one of the high points in our relationship, lol.

And yes, for Halloween last year they made me go as Hef and they all wore bunny suits. Kinda obvious, but it worked, lol.

Last edited by HappiestManAlive; 03-26-2011 at 11:35 PM.
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  #47  
Old 04-02-2011, 06:24 AM
koifish koifish is offline
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I think the west coast might be almost ready for polyamory. I think that people are generally shifting to caring a lot less about other people's sex lives. Maybe in 20 years we won't have to hide.
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  #48  
Old 04-02-2011, 03:20 PM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Just for the record I am so not competitive,,, I hope that when Derby sees this she doesn't bring it and try and find me more partners just to compete!
And that's all I have to say about that
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