Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 03-22-2011, 11:04 PM
magikman79's Avatar
magikman79 magikman79 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: College Station TX
Posts: 53
Default Kris

We now have separate accounts.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 03-22-2011, 11:11 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,287
Default

Protect them?
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 03-22-2011, 11:21 PM
magikman79's Avatar
magikman79 magikman79 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: College Station TX
Posts: 53
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Protect them?
Not really protect, I have trouble sleeping at night, so most of the time I just held them till they fell asleep & then spent the rest of the night sitting on the foot of the bed making sure they stayed covered up.

I kinda thought about it as taking the first watch, watching over & protecting my group.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 03-23-2011, 03:39 AM
lotheriel79's Avatar
lotheriel79 lotheriel79 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: College Station
Posts: 24
Default

Us girlies like being protected, and you did a super job, love.
It all felt so safe, being held by the both of them. Secure.
I have never felt so loved as I did in our triangle.
I miss our triangle. It was a happy place. But we need to move on and find someone who can deal with the nature of the relationship now. I know there has to be someone out there that can fill her spaces that were left. But how to go about finding that person? Hmmmmmmm.... I guess we will find out.
__________________
Everything in life is affected by the way you perceive it.Time to THINK DIFFERENT

Facebook
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 03-23-2011, 10:10 PM
magikman79's Avatar
magikman79 magikman79 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: College Station TX
Posts: 53
Default now...

So what happens now?
Now we heal & begin a new search...

Anyone have any thoughts or comments?
__________________
"The more a thing is perfect, the more if feels pleasure and pain."

Our Blog

My Facebook

Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 03-23-2011, 10:25 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by magikman79 View Post
So what happens now?
Now we heal & begin a new search...

Anyone have any thoughts or comments?
Everyone handles this stuff differently

Some people rebound
Some people jump right into a lubbing relationship

Personally I need time to heal. It wouldn't be fair to anyone I get involved with, post breakup, to suddenly get involved. I am selfish and aware enough to know it wouldn't be healthy. I lean on friends and work through my mourning, or try to. And hopefully come out the other side stronger and wiser.

Each of you may have different healing paths.. for the record. My wife and I are TOTALLY different in this regards.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 03-23-2011, 10:38 PM
magikman79's Avatar
magikman79 magikman79 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: College Station TX
Posts: 53
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Everyone handles this stuff differently

Some people rebound
Some people jump right into a lubbing relationship

Personally I need time to heal. It wouldn't be fair to anyone I get involved with, post breakup, to suddenly get involved. I am selfish and aware enough to know it wouldn't be healthy. I lean on friends and work through my mourning, or try to. And hopefully come out the other side stronger and wiser.

Each of you may have different healing paths.. for the record. My wife and I are TOTALLY different in this regards.
I agree with needing time to heal, we knew we would need this, but weve been wandering around mostly lost.

I can feel it getting better all the time, but its still what I want.

My main concern is that...Good stuff like that does not happen to me, I feel like I cheated the universe & slipped by unnoticed this one time, I don't know if i'll be able to do that again.

I guess it's a common fear, but that does not make me feel any better about it.
__________________
"The more a thing is perfect, the more if feels pleasure and pain."

Our Blog

My Facebook


Last edited by magikman79; 03-23-2011 at 11:24 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 03-23-2011, 11:47 PM
lotheriel79's Avatar
lotheriel79 lotheriel79 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: College Station
Posts: 24
Default

Tee hee hee... Magikman79 WAS my rebound after another long term mono relationship. 16 years later, Id say that rebound worked out well for me, so why mess with what works? LOL. not to mention I must admit that being able to stick my tongue out and say nah nah nah nah booboo helps as a nice band aid for so many emotional wounds. *snicker*
But I do not want to be that way toward her at all. I WISH I could be mad at her. If I was normal I WOULD be mad at her. But I guess love blurs all kinds of lines, doesn't it?
I must admit it does get harder to console Magik when it comes to her though, at times. Just that small ghost of jealousy still trying to die off, I guess, and only when I do allow myself the ability to lock away the hope that she is not coming back and understand that we need to move on. But then the small voice creeps back in and whispers in a sad dead voice "But I want her to come back.", and then its all back to square one with the crying, and then he is consoling me. (something I feel guilty about, by the way.)
But it IS over and we DO need to move on, so the hope that there is someone who CAN handle the nature of the relationship is out there for us is a need for me. A happy ending.
__________________
Everything in life is affected by the way you perceive it.Time to THINK DIFFERENT

Facebook
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 03-29-2011, 04:14 AM
lotheriel79's Avatar
lotheriel79 lotheriel79 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: College Station
Posts: 24
Default

Now my poly life is changing and I am having a hard time dealing with it.
He will be seeing her on his own.
Meanwhile I have been looking for a new set of arms to hold me and keep ME from falling apart, but it has not gone well for me. Could be that i still love THEM and do not really desire anyone other than them. Makes it hard to be appealing to anyone when you are back in the dating scene after 15 years... the fact that you really do not want to be on the dating scene.

So now tomorrow I will have to find a way to disappear for a few hours in this small little town of ours so they two people I love can be happy.

But in all honesty I am not happy. I can be held by him all night long, but I will be alone tomorrow, and part of my triangle- my happy little triangle will be together- But I will not be wanted or needed there.

I am too new to this life. I do not know how to proceed. I was Mono until the triad- now I have neither. I am Poly and there is no turning back, but I am still alone, and that was what appealed to me about this aspect of poly anyway- never being alone. How did it end up like this?

THIS is NOT what I wanted. THIS is not according to the plan.

How does anyone deal with being the one pushed out?
__________________
Everything in life is affected by the way you perceive it.Time to THINK DIFFERENT

Facebook
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 03-29-2011, 04:34 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,287
Default

Apparently, most triads don't seem to ever really last that long before evolving into something else. I think it will be helpful to read how others have handled it. Do an Advanced or Tags Search on this forum for "triad."
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
break-ups, triad, triad fallout, unicorn, unicorn hunting

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 09:31 PM.