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Old 03-23-2011, 07:23 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I find that having both of my beloved's in my life has increased my openness, closeness and bond with both of them. Time IS a topic that needs to be brought into the forefront, it CAN be an issue or you CAN use creative adaptive thinking to keep it from being an issue.
This weekend for example, GG is getting quality time with the kids while Maca and I spend Friday night together. Then, Saturday at noon, he's taking Sweet Pea (11yo) to a movie while Maca spends time with SaltyPea (15yo) and SourPea (3yo), SpicyPea and Ppea are going to see their grandparents and I'm going to tea with a friend. Then at 4pm we're all coming back together for dinner as a family. After dinner SpicyPea and I are walking down to a new dance class near our house to check it out, look at pricing etc. Saturday night after we return from the dance class GG and I will have our time curled up together until late Sunday morning.

Simple? No, quality time for everyone? Absolutely.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
So... basically, as I see it, allowing in love from multiple partners potentially enriches one's life, but need not be a replacement or at the expense of any of the other partners.
I really liked your workbook analogy. It's so fitting for my life right now, but also-so very true!

Quote:
Originally Posted by RobFire View Post
Even if it's the non-sexual activity time, spending time as a whole can offer the opportunity to enjoy the company of more romantic lovers as well as forge new friendship bonds and further open up the channels of communication that are so critical to any relationship.
This is key for me. If a person doesn't want to spend time with my family-they're never going to be a dating option for me. Just won't happen. Of course I spend one on one time with each of my HETEROSEXUAL male lovers alone. I want and need that, so do they.
BUT-if they can't handle spending non-sexual time together, well, they're going to lose out on time with me-just like any other person who doesn't want to spend time with my family TOGETHER is going to lose out on time options.

Quote:
Originally Posted by preciselove View Post
Pe "Open poly" people in my opinion seem to have a rather low barrier to entry. "You're ok with my lifestyle and my existing partner(s)? Wassup new boyfriend, let's have sex and see how it goes". Wooo NRE!!! A month later it's someone new. That's just my experience though.
LMAO-I'm very picky and that would certainly not work for me. But, it didn't stop my from lmao over the way you wrote it.

I've met many people in the poly-arena who have the attitude that they WANT a long-term, permanent partner.. and yet, they're just jumping from one NRE high to the next with no seeming awareness that they aren't finding what they want because they're too busy getting high.
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Tags
asexual, asexual poly, love, love language, marriage vs. polyamory, non sexual, secondaries, secondary, sex vs love, third partner

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