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Old 03-21-2011, 02:56 PM
dag dag is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 7
Unhappy Struggling with jealousy

Hey all,

Where to start. I've never been very good at love and romance, but what experiences I have had and those of friends lead me to decide to become polyamorous.

I had one rather disastrous open relationship about a year ago and then was single for almost a year before meeting my current girlfriend in February. Once we started to get serious together I explained how I was poly and why. At first she was unhappy about it and almost broke up with me, but then she took to it with an enthusiasm far beyond what I was expecting. So, great! I was really happy for her, and have been nothing but supportive.

The trouble is, I'm having horrible luck myself at meeting someone else while she's swimming in a sea of sexual abundance. The first week after we were officially poly she hooked up with three guys and a couple. That trend has pretty much continued in the month and a half since then, with her having four or five dates a week and sleeping with roughly four guys a week. Currently she's seeing roughly eight other guys and has just moved in with one of them, despite assuring me that I'm her favorite and still identifying me as her boyfriend. In that same time I have gone on two dates, and slept with one woman, who seems not to want to see me again.

I don't feel like we should have to maintain parity or anything but I feel like she's got all these sexual outlets whereas I've only got her and because of it I don't get to see her hardly enough. In fact I probably spend more time listening to her tell me by chat about all the other guys she's seeing than I do actually seeing her.

It's been especially hard since last week - she was staying with me for a week while she looked for another place, which was wonderful. I got used to her being around and felt horribly empty when she left. Now she's moved in with this other guy that she's had feelings for for a while and they finally had sex last night, which she says was "worth the wait".

I've sworn to myself to be supportive and let her do what she wants but the last week or so I've been torn up inside with feelings of jealousy I can't get to go away. It's stressing me out and affecting my health. I'm worried she's going to end up being in a primary relationship with the guy she's living with and that I'm not going to get to see her hardly at all. My confidence has gone way down which has made it even harder to find anybody else to be with.

What should I do?
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