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  #11  
Old 09-17-2009, 06:48 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Great for riding motorcycles..and that is what it is all about! Nice and warm, plenty of sun

Hey..you have got to listen to the song "Warning" by Incubus. I told Redpepper it reminds me to check in with her often..ok..back to the weather..how's yours?!
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  #12  
Old 09-17-2009, 06:59 AM
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Okay... motorcycles... what do you ride? They ride Harley's. (I'm strictly a backseat rider, I couldn't pick the damn thing up) Sea and Tommyc have Night trains. As to the weather. Raining mostly. But we had an awesome bike trip this summer. It was a week of rain, sun, and lots of time together.
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  #13  
Old 09-17-2009, 07:03 AM
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Harley Nightster model. I'm so mono I only have one seat LOL!! We can ride here all year round which is very cool!
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  #14  
Old 09-17-2009, 07:06 AM
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Well hell. We might have another month of riding. I don't think that's fair. Nightster? "Our" new son in law has the same. He's selling it. He's married now. No more mono for him.
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  #15  
Old 09-17-2009, 10:55 AM
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I don't really like the use of the word "evolved" in this context. It implies that being poly is a superior way to be. That it's for people who are "more developed".

It's not superior and being monogamous isn't inferior. They're just different relationship styles that work better or worse for different people. It takes a hell of a lot of personal skills to have a successful poly relationship and it takes a hell of a lot of personal skills to have a successful monogamous relationship.
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  #16  
Old 09-17-2009, 02:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
I don't really like the use of the word "evolved" in this context. It implies that being poly is a superior way to be. That it's for people who are "more developed".
Point taken..you are a smart woman Ceoli
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  #17  
Old 09-17-2009, 06:25 PM
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Point taken for myself as well. Thanks for that. I would never want anyone to think I thought I was superior to them because I live in a poly relationship, or inferior because I am mono in a poly relationship. Definitely the wrong word to use.

Growing up my mother used to say, " You aren't any better then anyone else. But keep in mind, you sure as hell aren't any worse either." Her way of saying we are equals.
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  #18  
Old 09-17-2009, 09:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetie View Post

A footnote here: Sea and I have laughed our asses off because we know damn well that there is no way in hell we could ever except another woman.
The word you want is accept, not except.

http://www.ehow.com/how_2086436_use-...correctly.html

I'm a terrible speller, and my grammar and punctuation need lots of work, but I just had to say it! I've been keeping my inner grammar police officer locked up in chains in the basement, and it isn't your fault that he managed to pick the locks today. No one is to blame. And I'm sure there are plenty of agregious errors of my own all over this place.

Besides, grammatical advice is often easier to give than relationship advice.
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Last edited by River; 09-17-2009 at 09:52 PM.
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  #19  
Old 09-17-2009, 09:54 PM
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Thank you for the correction. You are absolutely right. Feel free to correct my grammar or punctuation at any time.
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  #20  
Old 09-17-2009, 10:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetie View Post
So I guess what I'm asking is if tommyc is okay with what we share, and Sea is okay with what we share, and I'm okay with what we share, why am I feeling guilty?
Maybe your guilt is related to the thought that you're placing a constraint on TommyC? TommyC may not experience this as a constraint at present, but he may in the future. Who knows? But it sounds like you'd come unglued if TommyC were to become "romantically" involved with yet another, outside of your happy "V", and TommyC probably knows that is the case; and maybe, on principle, you'd like to be less apt to become unglued..., if....

Personally, I'm sympathetic with your resistance to TommyC taking on yet another full-on lover. That I'm sympathetic, however, doesn't mean I approve of your attitude, only that I'd likely feel similarly if I were in a similar situation -- but only because there are real time constraints we all have, even if love itself cannot be constrained.

That is, I have no doubt that folks can love three or even four folks fully -- but if each of these are themselves monogamous, physical facts of time and space, along with the common need of mere humans to sleep at night
( >punching buttons on electronic calculator, here< ), suggest the potential for reasonable complaint if the poly person in the grouping spreads his enthusiasms far and wide.

What you need to figure out is whether it all comes down to the real human constraint we all have on hours in the day and week, or something else. Only then can you move forward in understanding why you want to place a constraint, and whether that is a reasonable desire on your part. Etc.
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