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Old 03-17-2011, 05:36 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Handmaiden View Post
He feels threatened by the idea of me being in love with someone else, that I'll end up leaving him because he's rather insecure about himself. Sex isn't so problematic for him where there are no feelings involved, he knows he doesn't own my body.
Still, that he feels it is permissible for you to have have sex with someone, with the idea that only your body is engaged in sharing physical acts, and yet not acceptable for you to let in love, caring, respect, and affection from someone seems exactly like ownership to me. And what beautiful, wonderful possibilities he wants to keep from you! That is miserly, stingy, and selfish. It relegates you to be open with only one aspect of your being, like a toy. Basically he is claiming to own your "heart," which apparently he deems more important but yet it's a turn-on if your pussy gets passed around. How sad. I would think that if you love someone you would be happy to see others also direct love toward them, not just that they use you to get off. This is a highly disrespectful attitude toward your humanity and your womanhood, in my opinion, and why people who are okay with swinging and yet not poly puzzle me. And I say this as someone who has nothing against casual sex, just to be clear. But it's the attitude that colors everything.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 03-17-2011 at 05:47 PM.
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