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Old 03-17-2011, 05:52 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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I don't want to be negative, as you say you are trying to be as positive as possible, but there are some questions I wondered if you had asked yourself. Often people get into triads and in time find that two of the people involved want to spend more time together alone, are more attached at different times than others... a vee can often form out of a triad as two of the members find they are not as attached "that" way as they thought they were or as the NRE wears off.... what are your thoughts on the future if any or all of these scenarios come up?

It sounds like perhaps the new rule for you is that they don't have time together alone. Is this negotiable? A boundary that you have right now? Or is this firm for you? I can understand if it is! After all they deceived you and treated you very poorly. They don't have the integrity to be trusted at the moment. It makes sense to me that you want them in view at all times. I just wondered if you are going to be capable of allowing the natural flow of one on one time to emerge at some point?

It makes me so irratated when people who have cheated think that they should hurry their partners along to get up to speed... grrrr what is that!? So selfish and uncaring... where is the consideration and compassion for what you have been through with that... take all the time you need PLove, I don't see how either of them have any rights to anything just yet. It's been a month... maybe next year some time they can be a little anxious to get going? Seriously, this is going to take a long time I think... it sounds like his comments on your lack of perfection were the start of something really damaging... and now there is a shit load piled high on top of you that you are suppose to "rush" through?

I think you are going at a good pace and can go at what ever pace you want... you might at some point find you are in need of going slower because I would think some of this will catch you up at some point. The moment they do something or something happens that you perceive is deceitful, you may just halt entirely. That is okay too. It's in your best interest to make damned sure that you are going to be okay in this. There is nothing but time to do that in I think. I would hope that they understand the magnitude of what they have created for all of you and do everything in their power to make it right. Not only for you, but for themselves...
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