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  #1  
Old 03-15-2011, 10:12 PM
happy4her happy4her is offline
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Default Swayers turning Poly

Hi all!

I have come here for looking guidance and assistance in helping my wife with a new journey she is taking. For several years we have been borderline swingers. We prefer to call ourselves "swayers". Basically, my wife likes women, a lot. This is a desire that I obviously can't help with, so we joined the swinger community. She has always tended to only play with women whom she has developed a connection with.

Enter stage left, her new girlfriend. They have a connection the likes of which she has never felt with anyone other than me. I am so excited for her. From the first night that they were together there was this energy and connection that could mesmerize an entire room.

Now she is working through feelings and emotions that are exhilarating and confusing for her. After a week, she is starting to accept that it is ok for her to love this woman and love me at the same time. She still occasional feels that she is cheating on me. I tell her that I only consider it cheating if she is hiding things from me, but obviously those are my views, not hers. She has made great progress in the last week with her self reflection and analysis of her own feelings.

It is a fun and exiting time. I don't really have specific questions, just hanging out and reading posts so that when she struggles with things I may better articulate any help I give her. She may join here too, but she does not care for the forum mode of communication.

The hardest thing right now is the long distance. They are emailing a lot, and trying to plan a time that they can get together again. It's like trying to develop a long distance relationship in college again ... we both thought we were done with that

Anyway - it is great to have such a supportive community here. There are no local friends/people that we can talk to about this.
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  #2  
Old 03-16-2011, 03:43 AM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
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Welcome to the Forum.

Glad to hear you're excited about your wife...sounds like a good start.
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  #3  
Old 03-16-2011, 12:26 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Good luck. You're a giving generous husband.
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  #4  
Old 03-16-2011, 03:05 PM
happy4her happy4her is offline
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Thanks for the welcome!
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  #5  
Old 03-17-2011, 03:12 AM
Handmaiden Handmaiden is offline
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Wow, do you feel no jealousy? I kinda wish my bf was as comfortable as you are... but I can understand why he's not .
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  #6  
Old 03-18-2011, 02:07 PM
happy4her happy4her is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Handmaiden View Post
Wow, do you feel no jealousy? I kinda wish my bf was as comfortable as you are... but I can understand why he's not .
I can't say that I do. At least not yet. I am sure there could be things that come up that may provide pangs of jealousy, but I am prepared to deal with them as they come. It helps that I have poly tendencies myself and can completely understand the ability to love more than one person. I quite enjoy seeing how happy and excited that she is to be with her.
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  #7  
Old 06-30-2011, 09:53 PM
darrenwfp darrenwfp is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happy4her View Post
Hi all!

I have come here for looking guidance and assistance in helping my wife with a new journey she is taking. For several years we have been borderline swingers. We prefer to call ourselves "swayers". Basically, my wife likes women, a lot. This is a desire that I obviously can't help with, so we joined the swinger community. She has always tended to only play with women whom she has developed a connection with.

Enter stage left, her new girlfriend. They have a connection the likes of which she has never felt with anyone other than me. I am so excited for her. From the first night that they were together there was this energy and connection that could mesmerize an entire room.

Now she is working through feelings and emotions that are exhilarating and confusing for her. After a week, she is starting to accept that it is ok for her to love this woman and love me at the same time. She still occasional feels that she is cheating on me. I tell her that I only consider it cheating if she is hiding things from me, but obviously those are my views, not hers. She has made great progress in the last week with her self reflection and analysis of her own feelings.

It is a fun and exiting time. I don't really have specific questions, just hanging out and reading posts so that when she struggles with things I may better articulate any help I give her. She may join here too, but she does not care for the forum mode of communication.

The hardest thing right now is the long distance. They are emailing a lot, and trying to plan a time that they can get together again. It's like trying to develop a long distance relationship in college again ... we both thought we were done with that

Anyway - it is great to have such a supportive community here. There are no local friends/people that we can talk to about this.




Hi
Just read your post, and im really pleased for you that you both support each other on it. and glad its turning out brilliant for you both. Is there anyway girlfriend could move down closer at all? do you, yourself have fun with guys aswell as women?
Feel free to msg me anytime.
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  #8  
Old 07-01-2011, 12:01 AM
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River River is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happy4her View Post
I quite enjoy seeing how happy and excited that she is to be with her.
Yay! How wonderful!
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  #9  
Old 07-01-2011, 01:23 PM
happy4her happy4her is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darrenwfp View Post
Hi
Just read your post, and im really pleased for you that you both support each other on it. and glad its turning out brilliant for you both. Is there anyway girlfriend could move down closer at all? do you, yourself have fun with guys aswell as women?
Feel free to msg me anytime.
Thanks!

There is not really any way that her girlfriend could move closer. She would have to change jobs, and even more so, she has kids that are with her every other week and she needs to stay close to where their father lives so that the kids can stay in the same school.

We did get together for the weekend not too long ago and it was a great time. They are still both struggling with the distance though.

Nope, I am not interested in guys.

Thanks for the support!
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  #10  
Old 07-01-2011, 01:26 PM
happy4her happy4her is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by River View Post
Yay! How wonderful!
Thanks!

The are now past the NRE and struggling with the distance and how to define their relationship. My wife has a really hard time figuring it out because there will always be that distance. She has not figured out how to stay close to someone that she can not see and touch often.
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