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Old 03-15-2011, 06:46 AM
RobFire RobFire is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Milford, Michigan
Posts: 29
Default Too Many Bad Examples

One thing that has been a recurring theme as my wife and I interact with people are the unfortunate number of folks who probably should be discussing polyamory with their spouses, but who have taken the all too more common approach of just cheating on them.

In my wife's case, her first infatuation with another man that led to her interest in polyamory turned out to be a guy unwilling to discuss poly with his wife, and a guy who had for years admittedly had several affairs. I can't stress how much this ended up hurting my wife and casting an even dimmer view of polyamory in her mind than she'd had before.

Then, recently, we'd met another guy at a function we went to. It was pretty clear from the outset that he took a shine to her, friending her on Facebook, chatting her up on there, and engaging in some fun flirting.

It also became clear after not too long, to my wife, that he was not sharing this flirtation of overt interest he had with his wife. He *also* admitted to having had multiple affairs over the years behind his wife's back.

What's really sad is that this guy's wife had discussed poly with him in the past, as she had expressed sexual interest in women as well as men. Instead of exploring that further, apparently he chose the more common route of dishonest dealings and dirty little secrets.

It is a continuing source of frustration to me that our society, at least a goodly majority of it, would sooner accept a cheater than one who strives to honestly open their marriage to new partners.

I really wish there were more good examples.

p.s. Not saying there aren't many here, just that the odds game has led to these two poor examples.
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