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Old 03-06-2011, 09:55 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
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Default Suggestion for new section of the Forum

Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
Sent my husband a link to start researching poly and light BDSM.
This just reminded me... I've often thought that a separate forum here for "BDSM and Poly" would be a good idea. There are lots of people newly discovering both polyamory and this site who might find all the BDSM talk that gets intertwined here in poly topics a bit off-putting. It is a subset, I think, not an automatic part of being poly.

I don't wish to offend anyone into BDSM, but I personally find it frustrating when someone posts a question about poly relationships that looks interesting or like something I can relate to, from seeing the subject, and then I read it and it's about a Master/Slave dynamic or some BDSM flavor that I cannot wrap my head around nor contribute to. Not to say that my input is needed in every thread -- I don't mean to come off as that arrogant. And I know it's a personal prejudice of mine, possibly coming from IDing as a feminist, that makes me bristle when I read a woman calling someone Master, people talk about humiliating their partner, or capitalizing the words "He" and "Him" when referring to their mate, even though I know it's all consensual -- and so my bias is certainly something I am willing to look at, as well as learning more about BDSM. I'm fairly open-minded and yet admit to having my own inhibitions.

But I still think it could be a good idea to have a distinct area for BDSM, simply in order to make the General Discussion and New to Polyamory sections more appealing to a wider group of newbies. Plus I am sure there are plenty of experienced poly people not interested in any aspect of BDSM, who don't want to read about it, and plenty of people into BDSM who might appreciate a dedicated space for discussing it. Just a thought. Anyone else think this is a good idea?
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:

Last edited by nycindie; 03-06-2011 at 09:59 PM.
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