Blackunicorn, you are right. That is my idea of poly as well.
As for everyone thinking I'm some horrible villainous person, this couldn't be further from the truth. I have put up with quite a lot of emotional abuse from Mahogany and yet I still extend my hand in friendship because I truly care for her. The way I felt before meeting her should not be held against me since meeting her. I never once have asked him to leave her for me.
I have a severely restricted relationship with him now and I stay in hope that this can become a real poly relationship.
Reading this has deeply hurt me. :-( does anyone know of other poly forums that I could check out?