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  #11  
Old 03-03-2011, 05:52 PM
disillusioned disillusioned is offline
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Yea, sorry... USA 40%, Russia about 65%...

I would like people to write the number of happily married (mono) couples that they know. I will start - ZERO.

My grandfather died 6 months... you should see my grandmother... she looks 20 years younger now (after he died). God, how much they hated each other....

By the way, I think I'm into "open" relationships, I'm not sure how poly works yet... need to read all the posts :-)

Last edited by disillusioned; 03-03-2011 at 05:55 PM.
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  #12  
Old 03-03-2011, 06:15 PM
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DrunkenPorcupine DrunkenPorcupine is offline
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My comment was made mostly in jest.

I disagree with your aim. I'm not really interested in getting people into poly. It's not for everyone.

What I think IS a good game is to get people to communicate better. With themselves and with others, and then be true to that.

Good communication and respect of the individuals involved improves ALL relationships. Being open to poly only improves the relationships of poly folks who are already good communicators who've never considered the alternative.

If I'm going to interact with people with regard to good relationships, I'd rather give them my insight on good foundations, rather than tell them that my "floor plan" is the best one. I think that's insulting to the very people I'm interested in talking to about it.
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  #13  
Old 03-03-2011, 06:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by disillusioned View Post
I would like people to write the number of happily married (mono) couples that they know. I will start - ZERO.
I stopped counting after 20 (20+ years of marriage). Have they had their problems? Of course! However, poly couples have the SAME problems as anyone else when 2 personalities try and co-mingle, live together, raise children together and share finances.
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  #14  
Old 03-03-2011, 07:18 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Eagles, some vultures, beavers maybe elephants...I'm sure the list is long.

I don't disagree with your basic argument. I was just looking at it from the biological reproductive animal aspect.
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  #15  
Old 03-03-2011, 07:40 PM
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SDtatistics and personal experiences aside...my main point is directly related to how to bring about change. Next is recognizing that what works for us, does not work for everyone.

How do you get people to respond to an idea in a positve way? Do you attack their ideas and tell them why they are wrong? Or do you show them new ideas in a positve light with real examples?

Most people I know are the kind who look at things and then decide for themselves if it appeals to them.

Another aspect of the "revolution" concept is why do you want it? From a personal stand point, the idea of non-monogamy makes perfect sense to anyone who wants it...the pool of potential partners is expanded, there is no judgement or stigma attached and ultimately you gain more personal freedom. But to those who don't want it, it makes no sense at all to change. For those that are happy in monogamy there would be no benefit of opening up to non-monogamy. There are plenty of happy mono couples and believe it or not, not all people want multiple sex partners just because they appreciate the attributes of other people. I love motorbikes, all motorbikes. However, I don't ride any besides the one I own; I don't even test ride bikes during Harley promotional days where all the new shiny bikes are there for you to try....but I like being around them, and checking them out. Maybe that's a bad analogy...but I do love bikes!
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  #16  
Old 03-03-2011, 07:55 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Mono

I was with you right up to the test ride part.....WHAT .....WHY?
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  #17  
Old 03-03-2011, 11:19 PM
disillusioned disillusioned is offline
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Making people to ask questions is not to attack them.... I wish someone "attacked " me like that when I was 15. Educating and advocating monogamy is, to me, nothing less than imoral.

Rates of divorce may be down because "cheating " is more acceptable these days.

I really need to read more about poly... what do you do about kids, if you want them? If you have a main relationship and then 2nds, how is that different from an open relationship?
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  #18  
Old 03-04-2011, 12:37 AM
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Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Mono

I was with you right up to the test ride part.....WHAT .....WHY?
Sorry man..I love my ride in an unhealthy way...I would feel like I was cheating one her. Besides, she is everything I need in a ride...accept for the storage thing (that's why I ride with guys with baggers..kidding! Sort of)
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  #19  
Old 03-04-2011, 12:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by disillusioned View Post
Educating and advocating monogamy is, to me, nothing less than imoral.

what do you do about kids, if you want them? If you have a main relationship and then 2nds, how is that different from an open relationship?
I must admit, monogamy was not something directly taught to me...society as a whole set an example and expectations for sure though; that is how a lot of people end up being conditioned for monogamy as opposed to actually being monogamous.

As far as kids go, usually there is a primary couple involved where the desire for children comes in.

An open relationship gives the impression of a dynamic where primarily there is more freedom to pursue sexual relationships outside of the relationship in a much more independent way. Kind of like free range love that requires less partner knowledge and "approval" if you will. You declare openness, set up some safeties and then do your own thing. Poly promotes a greater awareness of the relationships in our partner's lives and generally some level of familiarity among all people.
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  #20  
Old 03-04-2011, 01:18 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by disillusioned View Post
1 out of 1000 people will be usexual and 1 out of 1000 people will be Hypersexual
sorry, what is usexual? Did you mean asexual?
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