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  #121  
Old 01-06-2011, 08:19 PM
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We for one really arent "out" with it all. Dont hide it but dont tell either. I personally dont care what people think. But realize at this point its best for the kids sake. They know my bf is around and his kid. But I HS my kids and well...around here the last thing we need is someone starting something and it affecting the kids and our schooling choices etc. I think sometimes when kids are involved it makes it a lil trickier. Our relationship, while new now, isnt really so new. We are in our 30s but hubs and bf have known each other since Kindergarten and I have known them both since we were 14. And well we also had a small taste of this lifestyle when we were younger. So seeing us 3 together...well its like when we were younger in a way. I think its sad we cant just be who we are outside the house because of other peoples views and prejudices. Because you never know what kinda crap they will bring down on ya.
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  #122  
Old 02-04-2011, 03:53 AM
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As someone who just recently discovered that this amazing poly world even existed, I would like to encourage you by emphasizing that there are so many people out there who have lived our whole lives by the prevailing ideal of monogamy but will still embrace and respect you for your choice. I am biased because I have had poly-leanings for a long time and am just recently realizing what they meant... that it's not because I am immoral, damaged, or desperate. That said, there will always be closed-minded fools out there who won't understand. That doesn't automatically mean they don't care about your welfare. Still, I can see how it would be difficult to discuss this sort of thing with co-workers, not to mention 'the boss'. As for your family, you must have some idea what they will say. Regardless, at some point they will have to adjust to it if they can. Hopefully they will come to accept it.
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  #123  
Old 03-01-2011, 11:31 PM
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Default Coming Out - Who to tell...How not to tell...

I am in a fledgling relationship with a couple. We are falling in love hard and fast. The hard thing is that we all live in the same area. Pat goes to the same institution as me, where I work in an upper administration office. We attend university events together, and meet at the library. I want so badly to express myself in public, how happy I am, how in love I am, to hold hands, and put our arms around one another. Though this CANNOT happen. I am in a very public position in the school, and I work closely with a very broad section of the student body. I am also not "out" as poly. The only people that know I am poly are my mom, my fiance, and my two best friends. It feels terrible being out in public and not being able to express myself with them. It hurts that I can;t share my true source of my recent happiness with co-workers, friends, and classmates due to fears of being judged.

I guess my question is, how do you decide to come out. Have you come out? What are your experiences with coming out? Who do you come out to? What are the repercussions?

Ok...that's a lot of questions, but I would love some feedback on this.

Thanks so much!!!

Last edited by polycouple; 03-01-2011 at 11:39 PM.
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  #124  
Old 03-02-2011, 12:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by polycouple View Post
.... It hurts that I can;t share my true source of my recent happiness with co-workers, friends, and classmates due to fears of being judged. ....
Please know that MILLIONS of people in your country -- and perhaps billions around the world -- are suffering exactly this very same dillemma.

Things are inevitably moving toward what I think is necessary for change -- which would be an International Poly Coming Out Day. A day of celebration, courage, faith, solidarity .... A day when we collectively unmask ourselves in public, proudly and without fear or shame. The meme has been planted and the Great Spirit (so to speak) is nourishing this in many hearts.
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  #125  
Old 03-02-2011, 01:05 AM
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What would be a "model" for an International Polyamory Coming Out Day?

Well, it would be drawn from the activities of another "erotic minority" (if you will), the infamous sandwitch, BLT....: (heh): http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sourc...akVj6lY6K5HWdA
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  #126  
Old 03-02-2011, 01:15 AM
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Speak Up Lurkers! We know you're here watching!
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  #127  
Old 03-02-2011, 01:24 AM
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http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...nal+coming+out
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  #128  
Old 03-02-2011, 07:04 PM
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Well, my earlier post was on the task of telling friends and family. That alone is a big hurdle.

Co-workers is a whole other ballpark. Took me years to admit to my coworkers about being gay. Poly? Oy. That's scary and unpredictable. This is still the South here afterall---most folks here are religious in one way or another. So far, I think my coworkers have this sense of feeling like they are "enlightened moderate" Christians who are tolerate or even accepting of gays. But polyamory would certainly go over their thresholds, I'm afraid.
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  #129  
Old 03-02-2011, 08:32 PM
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Originally Posted by RfromRMC View Post
Well, my earlier post was on the task of telling friends and family. That alone is a big hurdle.

Co-workers is a whole other ballpark. Took me years to admit to my coworkers about being gay. Poly? Oy. That's scary and unpredictable. This is still the South here afterall---most folks here are religious in one way or another. So far, I think my coworkers have this sense of feeling like they are "enlightened moderate" Christians who are tolerate or even accepting of gays. But polyamory would certainly go over their thresholds, I'm afraid.
You may be selling them short. I got to a point in my life, where I just didn't care who knew. If people can't accept me for who I am, then so be it. Will I ever be in politics? GADS no! Will I ever hold a public office or public type job? Probably not. So do I have anything to loose by telling co-workers? Not really. I'm a mechanic. People have grown accustomed to to hearing odd things about mechanics. LOL

Of course, I live in Florida too...Pretty open here. I mean, it IS the swinger capitol of the world, so when I tell people, they automatically say "Oh, so you're a swinger?". LOL
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  #130  
Old 03-02-2011, 10:07 PM
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This question is directed at everyone reading and/or participating in this thread.:

If millions and millions of people all over the world came out together, to friends / family / workplace / etc., and this were in the media, would you feel inclined to join in and come out on this one special day?

I'm convinced that such a day will arive -- and it won't be long.
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