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Old 03-02-2011, 06:16 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,398

Originally Posted by SimpleSimian View Post
Ok, so I was reading that link, which led me to these:

I hadn't thought about making it a requirement for three weeks and thereby causing a self-supporting habit. I kinda just thought that because it didn't happen, it wasn't for us. I'm pretty sure some karezza could very well save my relationship, as well as my sanity...

... I think my anxiety in my relationship, and thus the majority of my fear and jealousy, can be resolved with some karezza.
Wow, from the first link, I really appreciated the list of things to do to stay bonded with a mate, without being so orgasm directed. I know b/c I am so sexual, it can be overwhelming for my gf. I've been focusing more on these activities from the first link since I read it. I mean, we do them anyway, but I've been more conscious of it now...

smiling, with eye contact
skin-to-skin contact
providing a service or treat without being asked
giving unsolicited approval, via smiles or compliments
gazing into each other's eyes
listening intently, and restating what you hear
forgiving or overlooking an error or thoughtless remark, past or present
preparing your partner something to eat
synchronized breathing
kissing with lips and tongues
cradling, or gently rocking, your partner's head and torso (works well on a couch, or with lots of pillows)
holding, or spooning, each other in stillness
wordless sounds of contentment and pleasure
stroking with intent to comfort
massaging with intent to comfort, especially feet, shoulders and head
hugging with intent to comfort
lying with your ear over your partner's heart and listening to the heart beat
touching and sucking of nipples/breasts
gently placing your palm over your lover's genitals with intent to comfort rather than arouse
making time together at bedtime a priority
gentle intercourse

Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62)
Pixie (poly, F, 40) together since 2009
My bf Kahlo (single, poly-friendly, M, 45) since August 2017
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixie's bf for 3+ years
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