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  #11  
Old 03-02-2011, 09:33 AM
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just to quickly continue on the hijack topic (maybe the mods can move these posts over to the children and poly thread?)... dh... have you considered having yourself and your wife sit down with at least your daughter (as she is doing the snooping) and being upfront about what is happening? Surely the honesty and trust you guys show her, the respect and confidence you show in her as a person would go a long way to helping her personally with everything. Yes I do realise this would open up another can of worms - but dealing with the truth is so much easier than dealing with the monsters our minds create - and our minds are sooo very good at creating monsters - particularly at that age. Obviously, this would of course depend on her maturity and emotional state overall, and as her father you would know whether this idea is a possibility... just interested in whether this is an option or whether everything is happening behind tightly closed doors...
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  #12  
Old 03-02-2011, 02:53 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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LovingRadiance

thanks for the input ....Just use D I do..

I agree with your take on things...

PS Congratulations to you all.
  #13  
Old 03-02-2011, 03:17 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Rp Thanks

To clear up the part you are unsure of. I have asked each of them numerous times what the problem was.... got lots of stupid or non answers. As of yet they have not told me directly this is the case. So I'm speculating that my daughter has started to figure out she has been mislead.

The Hijack; I did read some of the postings in the children poly thread and I understand their perspective. I was looking for the mono perspective that had a adolescent girl. I actually pm'ed "mono" a week or so ago on this very topic... Sorry.... Move it if it seems necessary....no problem.

I can outline all the other struggles just as easy this just happens to be the current one.

D
  #14  
Old 03-02-2011, 03:29 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Flamekat

First they or she would have to come clean as to the problem. But yes I have thought about all sorts of possible tacks. The hypothetical s are staggering. Not sure I trust my wife's judgment on a lot of topic anymore. NRE and all.

Thanks D
  #15  
Old 03-02-2011, 06:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
LovingRadiance

thanks for the input ....Just use D I do..

I agree with your take on things...

PS Congratulations to you all.
D works for me.

There is a book,
"All About S.E.X.:The Scarletten Book" by Heather Corinna

In it, obviously they talk about sex, staying safe, etc. BUT-the other thing they make a huge point about is RELATIONSHIPS and specifically HEALTHY relationships, including healthy polyamorous and non-monogomous relationships.

You might check it out, see if it's something you'd be willing to go through with your daughter.
I homeschool and I had my little sister last year. She's got learning disabilities and functions at about a 12-13 year old maturity (at 16). We went through the book for Health. It was one part of her health class (obviously the sex/std part).
But, what I found was that she really got interested in the relationship section and figured out that boys who were pressing her for how she dressed even were not "good enough" for her. She really got a LOT out of the relationship information. Including feeling comfortable now telling other people that I'm polyamorous, what that means and why it's ok with her (as a young practicing Christian).
They have a website too, but I find it way too "teen-friendly" (bright colors, alternating fonts, makes my eyes hurt).
www.scarleteen.com



Thanks for the congrats, we pick baby and mommy up today and bring 'em home.
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  #16  
Old 03-03-2011, 07:12 AM
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made you your own thread DH
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  #17  
Old 03-03-2011, 02:46 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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LR

Thank you very much for the resource material I think it could be very useful.

The good thing about this whole situation is it has forced a very long and detailed conversation with my wife.
  #18  
Old 03-04-2011, 05:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
LR

Thank you very much for the resource material I think it could be very useful.

The good thing about this whole situation is it has forced a very long and detailed conversation with my wife.
and how did that conversation go? will there be another such discussion with your daughter? (not neessarily about the poly - but to deal with the issues there?)

glad to hear you guys are talking in depth
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  #19  
Old 03-07-2011, 04:02 AM
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Glad you're having a serious conversation. Looking forward to hearing how it went.


Someone else shared that link on here, months ago and it was SO useful over the last few months with the myriad teens in my life!
Glad you found it helpful too!
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  #20  
Old 03-07-2011, 03:40 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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The melt down happen thursday evening while driving my daughter home from optometrist appointment. I asked what was bothering her she started crying sobbing then screaming she's disgusting and sick. After several minutes of that she finally hands me a zip drive and says we can't go home ...she never wants to see or speak to her mother again. She and I then go to my office to see whats on the zip.

I find 300 email and photo's....in which a large percentage have heavy sm kink component and all photo's are of the X rated nature. I lost a few hours after that.... dont really remember everything I did.....haven't slept much since so I may not make lot of sense right now. I called my wife told her what had happen told her I thought she should grab some clothes and stuff spend the night somewhere else till I could get an assessment of the damage. Friday morning called therapist to get direction on who my daughter could see.... got to someone 1:30 that day. Got a call from wife's sister saying she very worried about my wife....saying she was going to kill herself. We thought she should go to her house for at least the weekend...wife can't function enough to drive to end of the drive way let along 2 hrs. Can we trust her to not try and kill herself of the way there. I got one of my team to take my truck put her car on one of the trailers and had him drive her and her car to her sisters. Got a call from her other sister who lives thousands of miles away and she was extremely supportive and completely in the dark as to what had happen. Apparently she's in a ball crying or catatonic. I'm planning to send her mother some or all of the photo's so she can grasp what her grand daughter is going through. In fact maybe the whole family should see this.

Got to go meet someone about this right now.... more later
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