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Old 03-01-2011, 05:51 PM
PickMoreDaisies PickMoreDaisies is offline
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 37
Default Need a Z not a V

I've been pretty patient, supportive, encouraging and even help write his pof/okcupid profiles. He has girls interested in him but he seems unwilling to take further steps to actually meet up with people. I have an on/off relationship with a mono guy. When we are 'on' again my husband completely stops looking for anyone, won't date or talk about dating. He claims that it is too stressful to deal with me seeing someone and he can't focus on looking for someone for himself. I empathized with this position and have stopped dating for over a year now in the hopes of giving him a chance to find something that works for him. He hasn't, or won't? I took the time to focus on myself...thinking that I would need those skills should he enter into something with someone else, after all who is above feeling lonely or the dreaded jealous....

Here I am again...with the long time on/off bf suggesting something more....that's another thread under poly dating a mono.....

I'm a pretty patient person. I think of relationships as marathons not sprints and I expect that I will be with my husband for many years so I'm not concerned with rushing anything. However, I'm starting to feel like he just isn't dating anyone so that I won't. Some one-penis policy gone bad. I think he always thought that he would be the one with other relationships, not that he has a problem in theory with me dating as well, I say "in theory". Or that he's stuck on some unicorn fantasy. Even though he's not bi, he became very distraught when my relationship with my bf started having elements that didn't include him. Also, it bothers him when I look for men to date, as if because I am bi I should only look for women????

He claims that he wants poly, maybe we have different versions of what we want. I'm fine with a V, I'd be better with a Z....he only seems to want a polyfitriad =(

At this point he has just started shutting down on me...as if not talking about it proves that he is ok with things. This just hurts because we have always been talkers. I just wish that he would take some steps to finding what he wants. How can I push him out of the nest so to speak?
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