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  #81  
Old 02-28-2011, 06:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Yeah, I was aware that's not what was being referred to, but I thought it was relevant.

I'm reading the link now.

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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
What I think is not realized is that time reveals much and when you are starting out with poly in your life, all is not evident yet. One has to ruminate and be open to experience. Rather than try to control it and just shove poly and its ideals aside. I know that is hard. It is not pleasant to be forced to face something new, but that, quite often is life, and this is just part of its great journey.
Truth, that is. I just suck at life. I eventually learn, but I always complain a lot before I finally get the message. I'm sure I'll wind up there eventually, it will probably take a few more whacks to the head from the life-stick before it sinks in. :P

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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
But, that wasn't what I meant about the chemistry. I happen to be one of those people who can TOTALLY enjoy the lovey dovey "making love" experience and the "FUCK ME HARD" experience-to hell with the pre-concieved idea of "woman/man" b.s. It's bs.

The internal chemical reactions of the body during sex are similar to the internal chemical reactions when smoking crack.
Anyway-it's pretty interesting.
It is, indeed, bs. Lies and more lies. Good guidelines to know what to expect, but don't rely on them or you'l be in for a big -- and probably unpleasant -- surprise.

The human body is so messed up. We form attachments to inanimate objects and become addicted to just about everything far too easily. Humans, who have no natural weapons, no natural armour, and somehow no natural predators. How we've survived as a species thus far confounds me. The Human Way seems to involve little more than being incapable of learning lessons, and continuing to mindlessly stumble forward until we reach our goal. How will we survive expansion into space? Or will we even make it that far? :P

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Originally Posted by ckn46 View Post
acceptance = love.
It's funny how so many of us in modern culture have trouble understanding that. I mean, I have some pretty archaic bullshit programmed into me. I need to let go of it and get to where you are. Acceptance = love looks like a beautiful equation, I just wish I didn't have so many preconceived notions and lies and bullshit and negative emotions and insecurity in the way.

I only hope I learn this before I end up being trapped in, and causing, a life full of unfulfillment and regret.

Last edited by SimpleSimian; 02-28-2011 at 06:27 PM.
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  #82  
Old 02-28-2011, 06:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SimpleSimian View Post
It's funny how so many of us in modern culture have trouble understanding that. I mean, I have some pretty archaic bullshit programmed into me. I need to let go of it and get to where you are. Acceptance = love looks like a beautiful equation, I just wish I didn't have so many preconceived notions and lies and bullshit and negative emotions and insecurity in the way.

I only hope I learn this before I end up being trapped in, and causing, a life full of unfulfillment and regret.
thanks, I am tempted to refine it to something like:
acceptance(1) = [love] but that is the XKCD fan in me bothering over the math.

I also agree that once we get over our cultural conditioning then whatever we can dream and visualize is our limitation.

I was having a conversation today with someone more ore less about preconceived states and their cause from historical events. I think that once we let go of the past we no longer apply it to the future.
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  #83  
Old 02-28-2011, 08:21 PM
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Ok, so I was reading that link, which led me to these:
http://yourbrainonporn.com/the-lazy-way-to-stay-in-love
http://yourbrainonporn.com/another-way-to-make-love

I hadn't thought about making it a requirement for three weeks and thereby causing a self-supporting habit. I kinda just thought that because it didn't happen, it wasn't for us. I'm pretty sure some karezza could very well save my relationship, as well as my sanity. We both have been slowly drifting apart from one another, and it has been causing lots of tension in other areas of life as well. I think we need this.

Thanks for the link and the repeated insistence on reading it. Once I finally got off my ass and read it, everything started to make sense. I can even feel some of my internal stress about the situation fading just from reading it and knowing there's an easy way to deal with it. I think my anxiety in my relationship, and thus the majority of my fear and jealousy, can be resolved with some karezza. It's good to know one can generate security with some simple mindfulness.

@ckn46 - I'm a computer programmer by hobby, but my math skills are rusty (I've forgotten everything I learned since Algebra 2, and large parts of anything I learned before then). What does your revised equation represent? (Yeah, I read XKCD too -- but the math jokes are mostly over my head.) Your equation reads, to my programmer's mind, almost like trying to set the value of a function to the array index [love], but it's missing the array's name, and in general is impossible. :P
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  #84  
Old 02-28-2011, 08:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SimpleSimian View Post
@ckn46 - I'm a computer programmer by hobby, but my math skills are rusty (I've forgotten everything I learned since Algebra 2, and large parts of anything I learned before then). What does your revised equation represent? (Yeah, I read XKCD too -- but the math jokes are mostly over my head.) Your equation reads, to my programmer's mind, almost like trying to set the value of a function to the array index [love], but it's missing the array's name, and in general is impossible. :P
yeah, i was not really going for coding. but more of an

"acceptance of 1 is a part of the set of love."

like weak set theory in half assed algebraic expression.

and yeah it has been decades since algebra for me, and I havent coded anything in a few years either....

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  #85  
Old 02-28-2011, 08:49 PM
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SS, there is some great info out there.
Sometimes it's well worth the time to read it.
(other times well-soso)

Sorry I've been obsolete for a few days (yes I meant obsolete).

I'll be back on line more regularly after my kiddo is home from the hospital.

Take care.
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  #86  
Old 02-28-2011, 08:50 PM
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oh, I forgot-I was going to tell you that on my blog, (link in my signature), there is a page for interesting links/reading etc (actually I think there are two pages).
Anyway-there are a CRAP load of links in there about the science of the brain and how it screws us up.
You might enjoy.
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  #87  
Old 02-28-2011, 09:03 PM
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I'll give your blog a good read.

I hope your kid recovers quickly and easily from whatever is at fault. I hope it's nothing *too* too serious (by nature, hospitalization, I think, denotes a certain level of seriousness).
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  #88  
Old 02-28-2011, 11:32 PM
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LR's kid had a baby SS. Its all over the "how are you thread"
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  #89  
Old 03-02-2011, 03:45 PM
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Oh crap. I suck at this community thing. I'm in so many communities, I forget to read the new stuff and keep up with them. :P

Well, congrats, LR.
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  #90  
Old 03-02-2011, 06:00 PM
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It's all good SS.
I was running in circles. I felt like I better let people know I wasn't dead or pissed off, cause I just disappeared, but I didn't have time to type a full explanation everywhere.

Hope your week is going well!
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