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Old 09-14-2009, 08:23 AM
SilverPhoenix SilverPhoenix is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 9
Default I feel like I'm starting over!

Hello, first thread for me! I've posted a "summary" of my relationship in the appropriate place for any who haven't read it that want to, but this thread will detail the main reason I've come to a forum for some... enlightenment, assistance, help, suggestions? Any and all of the above!

Now, I've been in my triad relationship for about 8 years now, and myself and one of my sweeties, F, have been flirting off and on with others here and there, but nothing serious til recently where F is crushing on his best friend. That's working out semi-decently, but has its snags as it will.

All through our 8 years, C, my other sweetie, has been easy going, and just took the stance of "I'm happy if you're happy", he's a very very low jealousy person and a very cute adorable happy cuddly guy.

Now here's the snag, and it's mostly on my part. Recently C shared with me and F how he likes another woman, and she likes him too, and they would like to see how it would progress, but wanted me and F to know before anything further.

This is all well and good, as we've done the same with him with our brief interludes with others, and he's never had a problem with it. C has never really expressed interest in others, and he even admitted to us that it kind of shocked him too, and he was really really nervous in telling us as its something new in the relationship that he hadn't predicted happening at all.

Well, F has no problem with it, and is going with the "I'm happy if you two are happy" stance on this one. Yay, point for him!

I'm... not unhappy with it, but I tend to have a very low self esteem and self image. I have also never been really in a relationship - however distantly or indirectly connected - with another woman. Nor do I have any woman friends really. (I'm not counting coworkers that I'm friendly with!) She, also, has never encountered our situation before, but she understands it as far as I know. I haven't really talked to her much, due to our different work schedules, and that she's really unsure about the big picture at this point, AND I'm trying not to overwhelm her or scare her away.

However, I have too many questions and want to answer questions if she has them, and at the same time I'm unsure of how I am going to react at any given point, since my emotions are doing a sort of flip flop thing about "I'm happy"/"I'm unsure"/"I'm depressed-worried-stressed" mix and it's confusing the heck out of me sometimes.

I'm really stuck here, as I don't want to butt in but I also want to be friends maybe... and I dont' want to overwhelm her and my self confidence (or lack therof) is NOT helping at all. I feel like I'm starting all over and I want to TALK to someone about it but ... I really don't have anyone I can talk to about it that's not really involved in it.

Another thing is, I tend to get a bit depressed when C tried to hug me or be romantic with me, as my mind's constantly going "well, are you being this nice to ME or are you wanting to be this nice to HER and I'm just here?". It makes it tough on everyone when he's being sweet to me.

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