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Old 04-30-2009, 03:33 PM
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River River is offline
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Location: NM, USA
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Several earlier posts in this thread include suggestions that sex is somehow primary or core or central to polyamory. This is false. The core of polyamory is about love, not sex. Polyamorous people generally see sex as one way of expressing and experiencing love, and choose not to stand in the way when someone they love wants to share love with others -- including sexual expression and experience.

I think of it like this.: Most monogamous couples do not stand in the way of "allowing" their lover to have friendships with others, including loving ones -- or even passionately loving ones. (Remember, passion does not equal sex!)
Jack and Jill don't generally want to draw a line, preventing their partner from, say, enjoying dinner and a movie with a friend. These are shared pleasures, right? But Jack and Jill, being monogamous, draw the line at sex. That's not allowed with others. Are we to think that loving "platonic" friends aren't sharing love while sharing (expressing/experiencing) a dinner and a movie? All activities shared with a loving friend can be expressions and experiences of love, including sex.

Sex, like dinner and a movie ... or a hike in the woods or a picnic in the park... are shared pleasures. Ideally, there would be love experienced and expressed in all of them. Love is what's central and core, here. Not sex.

Sex cannot be the central theme of human relating. Love must be that central theme, or it isn't quite fully human relating. Love is the central theme of human existence. >>> continued >>>
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