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Old 02-26-2011, 09:45 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by poobah123 View Post
So my wife has started reading about polyamory. Her main problem with it is when does it end? meaning, If A is married to B and they both have others (C&D) then (C&D) have others (E&F) and so on. To tell you the truth, I don't know how to reply to this. I could use some suggestions.
You might want to read Opening Up by Tristan Taormino, if you haven't already. Good info about poly in general and many of the possible configurations. Don't assume that because you want a second partner that everyone in the mix will start taking on more and more partners exponentially. It will be whatever you make it, and the relationships can be closed. Poly people can be involved with mono people who do not have any other partners. But there are many much more experienced people than I here who can tell you about that, as I've only been exploring this a few months. Read this forum some more. Have your wife come here and ask questions, too!
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  #12  
Old 02-27-2011, 01:12 PM
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People use the terms 'primary', 'secondary' and 'tertiary' to mean rather different things, and some don't like them at all, but due to time and energy constraints, possible additional partners rarely are all primaries, live together in the same house etc.
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Old 02-27-2011, 05:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by poobah123 View Post

So my wife has started reading about polyamory. Her main problem with it is when does it end? meaning, If A is married to B and they both have others (C&D) then (C&D) have others (E&F) and so on. To tell you the truth, I don't know how to reply to this. I could use some suggestions.
.
It can be as open or as closed as you make it. Some people are in closed Vs, say, a woman as a hinge, and her 2 lovers may be mono, or poly, but not interested in pursuing other relationships.

Or, you may have your primary, you both have secondaries, and those secondaries might have primaries of their own, or not.

In my own case, I have a primary. I am a woman and my primary is a woman. We are both bi or pansexual. Currently we both have secondaries. My secondary has no other lovers. My gf's secondary, a pansexual man, has a live-in gf, but they are into BDSM and do play parties, people they do kink with and may or may not have sex with. We all practice safer sex, of course.

My secondary is a very busy man tho and we only get together, on average, once a month. So, I date others, looking for a guy or a woman with more free time. I find my other dates on the dating site ok cupid.
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