I long for the days when sex was so sacred...

[Magdlyn]

I long for the days when sex was so sacred... the only word for prostitute was "holy one."

This is evidenced in the Bible, of which I have made an exhaustive study. There are references in the books from the 7th century BC about how the Levites (Judaean nobility), patriarchal men who worshiped a male god (Yahweh), fought to remove the Goddess Asherah's image from the Jewish temple, and also fought to have her priests and priestesses (sex workers, qudesha and qudeshim, or holy ones) removed from their homes there, and therefore unable to perform their duties to the goddess, to have sex with people who came to them to worship Asherah and her consort Yahweh in this fashion.

The complete takeover of our planet by the patriarchal concept has made sex, and "infidelity" seem dirty and somehow wrong. Even amongst poly people here, I see relationships based mostly or only on sex all too often as being made out to be dirty and somehow lesser than, a full on, all or nothing totally committed relationship.

[booklady78]

Have you read a recent book called "Sex at Dawn" by Christopher Ryan? It's a pretty fascinating read about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality. Based on your post here, you may find it a good read Most of the bigger chain bookstores carry it since it's fairly new, if not then it's readily available to order online.

[Magdlyn]

Actually I was just reading reviews of it on amazon, which reminded me about my thoughts about sacred sexuality!

http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Dawn-Prehi...8661300&sr=1-1

The first review is terrific. It really sounds like my kind of book. I love "alternative" history. That is: history that is not written from the (white) male POV.

[nycindie]

Funny that you started this thread, Mags. I was recently telling a friend that through the years I have often thought of myself as a sort of reincarnation of a temple prostitute, in the original, best sense of the word. And just last night I sent Dreamy a message where I told him: "Sex can be so healing when two people are honest and open, and not out to use each other but just enjoy each other... I think we can really enjoy each other's bodies, get in touch with ourselves again, too, skin to skin..."

He and I are both dealing with divorce and it has been healing to be sexual with each other. As it has been healing for me to have a primarily sexual relationship with Shorty, who opened me up to a large part of myself that was hidden away. And there is so much caring and respect, though it is mostly sexual.

So many times in my sexual life (before I was married and my sexual energies were tamped down for many reasons), I had visions of myself in a temple or bathhouse, welcoming men home from war, soothing their spirits and bodies with sex, massage, pleasure, and helping make them whole again. The problem with my visions of being a modern-day temple prostitute in current society, was that I was programmed to believe in monogamy and finding an exclusive partner to grow old with -- and so I would get upset when the men I was with got the healing they needed and then were no longer in my life anymore. I often overlooked the fact that the encounter was finite, not meant to be a forever thing, and just as healing for me as it was for them. However, I consider myself fortunate that these patriarchal thoughts didn't always get in the way. I have had the enriching experience several times of having shared my body with someone, felt my heart expand in the time we shared together, and was able to say goodbye, still feeling a loving connection, without any sadness or sense of loss. I remember one of these guys saying to me, "I won't say I'll miss you, because that would mean there's something lacking. But what we had fills me and makes it possible for me to leave, and to smile whenever I think of you." And I knew what he meant, and felt the same way. I have always remembered him fondly, although that was the last time we saw each other, 22 years ago. To the others in our social circle who knew we'd gotten it on, they probably thought that all we had was a one-night stand. It was so much more, and yet it was just sex at the same time.

I started having sex at 14, was always tuned into my sexual nature, and although my Inner Prude has always been there and I don't have much experience with kinky shit or experimentation, I have known that my sexuality was healing to others. My sister has had the same thing -- even "curing" (for lack of a better word) one lover of ED, after he had sex with her. I don't think it's magic or fantasy. I think it has to do with trusting and being secure in one's desires and sharing the body with kindness and respect, which enables one's partner to resonate with that. I see this as very different from swinging, which turns me off.

Though it can seem to others that it's just whorish behavior, or somehow disrespectful to oneself to be so "casual" with sexual dalliances.

Maybe the patriarchal view of sex as dirty having been held for so many generations is another contributing factor to post-traumatic stress syndrome. Imagine all the soldiers with PTSD going to see a skilled sex worker instead of a shrink!

[Magdlyn]

Originally Posted by nycindie

Funny that you started this thread, Mags. I was recently telling a friend that through the years I have often thought of myself as a sort of reincarnation of a temple prostitute, in the best sense of the word.

Cindie, we are two peas in a pod. I have the same feelings. And i hate that we need to use the word "prostitute" for this kind of sexual healer. I am quite sure many high class um, hookers, and courtesans from the past were actually sexual healers, not just in it for the money, but for the yummy feelings and bonding only sex can bring.

Pro/stitute= for money. Sex is so good, many sex workers admit they are just getting paid for doing what they enjoy most (which is the definition of a perfect job, no?) . My gf knows I love it so much and am so good at it, she's often joked about "whoring me out."


I've also sexually healed men in short term relationships. Started their healing anyway, by providing an open heart and cunt, and expression of self care-taking, which they then go on to further explore in other sexual or love relationships, and/or more traditional therapy.

Maybe the patriarchal view of sex as dirty having been held for so many generations is another contributing factor to post-traumatic stress syndrome. Imagine all the soldiers with PTSD going to see a skilled sex worker instead of a shrink!

Funny you'd mention the military. Surely millions of frightened soldiers, facing death, missing loved ones, have found comfort in the arms and pussy of a sex worker. Much more comfort being embraced in the arms of a willing "stranger" (goddess) than in a quick furtive wank.

And in one review of Sex at Dawn, it is mentioned:

When we think of the first swinger parties most of us imagine 1970s counter-culture, we don't picture Top Gun fighter pilots in World War II. Yet, according to researchers Joan and Dwight Dixon, it was on military bases that "partner swapping" first originated in the United States. As the group with the highest casualty rate during the war, these elite pilots and their wives "shared each other as a kind of tribal bonding ritual" and had an unspoken agreement to care for one another if a woman's husband didn't make it back home. Like the sexy apes known as bonobos, this kind of open sexuality served a social function that provided a way to relieve stress and form long-lasting bonds.

[dingedheart]

Magdyln very interesting thread..

Do you have any advanced degrees in religious studies? Should we be addressing you as doctor Magdyln. I find your knowledge in these matters very impressive. Do you have a language gifts as well... Latin, Greek. I nominate you are resident religious expert ... all those in favor say I.... I

I like this idea and with my current situation I may go to church more frequently....say twice a week....ya know good for the soul and all that.

thanks D

[Magdlyn]

Originally Posted by dingedheart

Magdyln very interesting thread..

Do you have any advanced degrees in religious studies? Should we be addressing you as doctor Magdyln. I find your knowledge in these matters very impressive.

Thanks dingedheart! No, I've taken a few courses in the belief systems and histories of various religions, but most of my reading has been on my own, going from book to book as one leads to another.

Do you have a language gifts as well... Latin, Greek.

I wish! I know a few key phrases and words in Greek, Hebrew, Latin, Sanskrit, but am no scholar of any particular language. I learn from those that do have good working understanding of those languages.

I nominate you are resident religious expert ... all those in favor say I.... I

I like this idea and with my current situation I may go to church more frequently....say twice a week....ya know good for the soul and all that.

thanks D

Well... a traditional Christian church would not be the place to bring these "heretical" ideas. I'd look for a Unitarian Universalist or Gnostic Christian church.

A better place would be a Buddhist or Hindu temple.

[BlackUnicorn]

Ah, the best way to get over one man is to get under a new one.

No, seriously, sex can cure a broken heart. I think society views 'rebound fucks' as something very negative indeed, as if you are a mistaking a substitute for the real deal and end up hurting yourself and everyone else in the process. But hey, few people feel super-sexually confident after just discovering that their partner doesn't desire them that way anymore.

Which is better; stay home and mope, play some sappy love songs and wonder if it's in fact been so long the last time you did it that human mating behavior might have changed drastically in the meanwhile; or to go out there, finding someone who feels the need to connect as deeply as you do, and then do some of the connecting.

I think someone with a healthy self-esteem and a deep enjoyment of sex for the sake of sex instead of sex as a source of self-validation is much better equipped for casual things as well as relationships in general. Maybe it is about general connectedness with your feelings and being able to connect with others.

There was a guy in the telly complaining he wasn't getting any (he was 31 and had had 6 sexual partners, not counting the paid contacts, so him 'not getting any' can be debated). We talked with a neighbor about this and she said that 'I can't imagine what all these guys are whining about. Like, honestly, there are women out there who are up for good casual sex as much as any guy. If you take care of you personal hygiene, are reasonably polite and don't have too high standards for your level, you should be able to find what you need.'

I think this guy's problem was that he oozed hostility and resentment towards women. I sometimes fancy I can say if a guy generally just loves women, not only as potential mates and fucks but in general, if he just enjoys feminine company. I bet those guys have much higher incidence of getting some than the ones like the guy in the telly.

[Ariakas]

I sure am glad I never cared what other people thought or think sexually. I am more or less, the way I am (however always evolving). The only people that should be concerned with my sexual appetite are the ones I am involved with.

Beyond that most people can go suck a nut

[nycindie]

Originally Posted by Ariakas

most people can go suck a nut

Yours?