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Old 02-25-2011, 01:32 PM
jokutus's Avatar
jokutus jokutus is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 31
Default NRE overflow / Breakup overflow...

Hey guys...

Well, I had my first real poly relationship...

It was brief, the NRE was amazing - and now the Breaking up part is devastating. Which leads me to (what I believe) an interesting question...

For lack of a better term - NRE overflow into the primary relationship happens. I think we have all felt that at one time or another.

How do you control, or can you control the emotional / negative / breakup overflow from effecting your primary relationship?

Has anyone dealt with this? I mean, yesterday (the day it was apparent that the relationship was over) I was miserable. Today I am just emotionally numb... I want to get over this as soon as possible, and generally for me to get my head on straight it takes me a few months of seclusion and contemplation. It gives me time to do some "Relationship CSI" work and see when / where it all started to go wrong. While doing that, I know I am probably going to be obsessive, impulsive, neurotic and generally in a different head-space my wife. I don't want those feelings to bleed into her happiness...

Anyone have suggestions?
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breakups, nre overflow, primary/secondary

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