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Old 02-24-2011, 05:07 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Originally Posted by Reptigal View Post
I'm really afraid what other family members would say if they found out.
Often in situations like yours, family will side up with the partner they see as the underdog. In your case, that would be you, the partner who's not poly. Having the family gang up on one or the other can really mess up relationships, so you are reasonable to feel afraid of it getting out at this point when everything is still very new. However, people in general want their loved ones to be happy. If you make sure that you are happy in the relationship, that is bound to reflect on your family, if and when you choose to disclose your situation to them.

Originally Posted by Reptigal View Post
I want to know how we can start slow. What do we do? What restrictions am I reasonably allowed to set right now?
Communicate, communicate, sleep, communicate some more, cry, communicate, go to work, continue communicating.

You are allowed as many restrictions you want right now. You must also understand that your partner might have hard time keeping to them. But I think it is reasonable to ask them both to slow down enough so you can get on the same page, and to be honest.

Originally Posted by Reptigal View Post
If I let him escort her to events she doesn't want to go to alone, albeit they don't have sex is that unfair. Am I allowed to say right now they are not allowed to kiss? Should I confront her about hogging up all his time? Should I talk to her in person about it?
No. Yes. Yes. Definitely yes! Please remember you are allowed the things you feel and ask for the time you need. The more time they spend together, the more likely it is that some restrictions will be tip-toed around and maybe broken. It's imperative you talk to this girl about how you feel. She might only be getting her info from your partner, and needs to hear how you feel and why you feel that some things, like constant online chatting, are corrosive to your situation atm.

Originally Posted by Reptigal View Post
How slow is too slow?
There is no such thing as too slow.
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
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jealousy, mono poly, mono/poly, nre

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