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Old 02-24-2011, 04:33 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,487

Redepper thanks...

So outside of core understanding your relationship would change and from what you said may suffer. What you have described was/is the situation of most of us who have had mono relationships for yrs and yrs then out of the blue this need has been discovered. The text messages would start to decrease, phone calls would become less frequent and more fact or informational. Meaning you need to pick up this or so and so called or I'm running late wont be home at the usual time. Focus is over as you knew it. It becomes a simple math problem..... time divided by (x) X= number of partners.

A few weeks back mono posted something along the lines of pulling back and acting in a more secondary role....he got many replies....very few actual responded to his question. Most wanted to discuss the boundaries that the two of you agree to or his reasons for the boundary...Nobody thought to explore if he was to 2 or 3 outside relationships. I now think maybe that was the actual question. I saw his question through the lens that I was wearing at that moment in time. Seeing it as a camping issue or being in a space that makes him uncomfortable. Lets think if mono brought some hot blond who has her own Harley to the camping trip??? And yes they are out there "hot single bikers" and yes they have teeth. I actually know one and she is a corporate lawyer... the only down side is she's a lawyer.

You suggested that pn doesn't handle NRE very well and he drops the ball when it comes to his responsibility. I gather you are talking about family obligations and or time with your son. NOT so much his time and attention to you.


wow...Are you saying that the 3 of you lived in the same house for years during which many of those you were having an affair with GG??? Out of 9 yrs how many were you cheating? I really don't understand how GG and maybe even you, is still alive.....I'm kidding of course. I wonder if the two of you will ever know how devastating this is or was to him.... it may bubble up and out years later. That type of betrayal and the feeling of being a chump or sucker doesn't go away with a one time drunk. I hope he went to therapist for this... I would say this scar may be around for a very long time. I can see a dozen reasons why he has sough out other relationships I have a few of those myself. His becoming poly was a response to his situation...he wants back what he thinks he lost. He may want to make you feel in a very small way what he was forced to feel. This is exactly how I feel. Hell he may be fine and moved on.... I wouldn't count on that... even if things look good.....ticking time bomb. Again I'm looking at things through my puked on lens.. I sincerely wish you all the luck and best wishes in the world. Even more for Maca

Take care D
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insecurity, mono/poly

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