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Old 02-21-2011, 04:32 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
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Originally Posted by bella123456 View Post
A negative for me is that I really, really struggle with time management. I believe relationships require a significant (and the definition of significant will be different for each relationship) investment of time. I struggle with finding the time needed to feed multiple relationships to a level where they are given the room and space to flourish and to find their strength.
This is a really great and important point Bella.

But it also can serve as a good "needy" detector. We all want and need time and interaction with those we care about. But when lack of time starts to cause real problems it can be a signal of a (possibly) growing dependency. When people have their own internal strength and are busy going about leading their lives they generally appreciate that everyone else is doing the same. If it gets to the point theres a real disconnect, it seems easier for these type of people to sit down and say "whoaaa - time out - we need some connection time in here". And it's usually not perceived in a negative manner in this environment. Everyone is 'on the same page' already, recognizes the potential for this to happen, and fine with someone blowing the whistle.
But if you're NOT all on the same page......well, that's when it seems to get sticky. Someone has all kinds of excess time/emotion on their hands and forgets that that is THEIR unique position. It's not necessarily everyones, nor should it be. And if you don't acknowledge this trouble is brewing.

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insecurity, jealousy, mono poly, monogamy, new to poly, pros and cons

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