Need Some Advice...
I find myself here by accident. Sort of. Or maybe I was always headed in this direction and now I need some advice from you august ladies and gentleman.
I'm married, 7 years, great wife, good marriage. My wife and I went through a really bad time last year, my heart fractured, I fell in love with another woman, all while still being in love with my wife. Me, loser. I kept it secret, cheated for a while, now its out in the open and my wife wants to meet my lover. She is open to polyamory, loves me, understands why this happened and is willing to work through it if I can stop lying and being sneaky. I desperately want to stop hiding my feelings for the other woman, too much stress, and lying is emotionally toxic. So we are supposed to have dinner on Sunday. ACK!? What do I do? How do we sit? Basically my wife wants to meet my love and get to know her, see what her intentions are, see if she is someone to welcome into our marriage. I will abide by her decision either way, especially considering that she has been loving and gracious enough to talk to me through all of this, forgive my betrayal, and try to understand how I can love her and the other woman. So, again, some advice would be great. No beating me up; I'm already feeling vulnerable and bad about myself so please, don't attack me, just not in the mood today. How do I navigate this? Its all really new and weird. I didn't mean to fall in love with the second woman; I just did. It was like a kick to the head when I first saw her and then it was an inevitable conclusion from there. Help? Advice? Suggestions?