The birth of poly relationships

[Aaronp]

So I've already found so many answers in a similar thread http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...ghlight=single and thanks to Ceoli for giving a voice to the unheard singles in the community. I wanted to start my own thread just to focus on one particular aspect of the linked thread (it covers a lot).

I see two main school's of thought on how a polyamorous relationship is started. Either you

1. Are a couple and become open.
2. You find a couple that has become open.

so my question is:
How does a Poly single go directly into an open relationship without joining a couple first, or being a monogamous couple first?

The recurring answer seems to be "you need to love someone first" and "multiple loves is not the same as multiple lovers". but I want to know if anyone here has experienced or witnessed cases where two singles have started a relationship as an open one. I want to know if it is possible to skip the monogamous step without being called a swinger.

Maybe I am just young and naive, but it seems counter-intuitive to hide what I am at first to form a relationship and go through all the mushy couple stuff only to risk it later on by saying "oh by the way, I'm poly!". For me, that part comes right after I introduce myself.