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  #11  
Old 02-13-2011, 09:40 PM
Tolvelski Tolvelski is offline
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New problem, my girlfriend found someone she wants the poly relationship to work with and yet the way she chose to let me decided is "how would you feel if I want to date this person?" and I pretty much said I would like to talk to both her and this person before I say yes or no and get a idea of what Im getting into. She refused and said "It's a yes or no" she refuse to let me do anything except say yes or no to her having this relationship so I had to reply with "Do you want this to work, yes or no? Cause if it is a yes then I want to be able to talk and look before we leap into this. If not then its a no cause I refuse to be shoved into a corner an forced to make a hard decision on just a seconds notice." So what do you all think?
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  #12  
Old 02-13-2011, 09:50 PM
Tolvelski Tolvelski is offline
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And now Im also being told that I dont need to talk to the person who is going to be dating my girlfriend.
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  #13  
Old 02-14-2011, 03:05 AM
Catfish Catfish is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
More paragraph breaks, please!
I adore that.
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  #14  
Old 02-14-2011, 03:12 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tolvelski View Post
And now Im also being told that I dont need to talk to the person who is going to be dating my girlfriend.

Stand your ground. Something is not right in my opinion. She's asking a very big thing of you...you've made a small request. She's holding back for a reason. Be careful.
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  #15  
Old 02-14-2011, 07:50 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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It is better to know ones metamour in my experience. The fear and talk inside your head lessons when you at least meet and get to know them. Its hugely beneficial that metamours are civil and respectful to each other at the bare minimum. I think you are wise to ask to meet them. Its not a yes no decision$ you aren't her dad. You are working on thia together. She doesn't need to ask permission, she needs to consider you and communicate how she plans to work this out. Then you do the same, that is how it works. This is negotiating... That has nothing to do with permission. I don't think its fair she even ask.
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