Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-05-2011, 06:16 AM
monolicious monolicious is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 20

Thanks so much for working past your initial response to hear what I was saying. Mainly, I know how much it would wound me if my poly husband saw my struggles with his polyness as a lack of love on my part.

I wish my love for him could transform me into a poly person (or even a mono with no struggles around this), but so far it hasn't. I don't know if it ever will. But then his love for me didn't keep him mono. So, that makes me think the mono/poly thing isn't about a lack of love at all. It is more about what love relationship structure we thrive in best, and compatibility, and mostly staying true to ourselves.

I can relate to drama mode No worries. A forum like this can be a good place to vent drama mode without hurting our loved ones.

It sounds like you have been extremely supportive of your husband throughout your marriage. I didn't mean to imply you hadn't. The only issue I sought to address was him telling you he would not be able to handle you being poly, and that is exactly where you find yourself now. That is not an issue of blame, as much as an issue of circumstance.

As for the swinging and question of if he is mono, only the two of you can really sort that out.

I am glad to hear you are in therapy and being honest-

best of luck in love and happiness.
Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2011, 03:25 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,211

Speaking of being poly but acting mono, BTDT*, the ex was still jealous of every crush or infatuation I felt. He was always afraid of losing me to another.

*been there, done that
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62) loving Pixie (poly, F, 40) since January 2009, living together since 2013
Seeing Kahlo (polyish, M, 45)
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixie's Dom/bf for 3+ years
Reply With Quote

compromise, mono poly, mono/poly, poly mono

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 04:10 PM.