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  #51  
Old 02-02-2011, 08:31 PM
vodkafan vodkafan is offline
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This forum has helped me a lot. Basically it just showed me that I should relax and see where any given situation was going before I overreacted.
Although as a mono I neither advocate nor denigrate poly as a lifestyle (We are just trying to live our life) I have felt a sense of community here.
I have been able to give back some support for a couple of other people off forum (who contacted me) who are in the same situation. That's enough for me.
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  #52  
Old 02-02-2011, 10:29 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Helped me personally, especially initially...

It has hindered in other ways.
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  #53  
Old 02-03-2011, 12:08 AM
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Rarechild Rarechild is offline
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I forgot one:

The feeling of being told on to the world, in a good or bad way, but one that pushes privacy, even if I am the initiator.

Itchy trigger finger. The camaraderie I receive from folks on here causes me to over-share at times. It's certainly not uncommon for members to want to take something back.

Been thinking a lot about distinguishing between what is felt right now and what has been decided and won with free will.

-R

P.S. I really like this conversation.
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Last edited by Rarechild; 02-03-2011 at 12:09 AM. Reason: PS
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  #54  
Old 02-03-2011, 12:49 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rarechild View Post
Itchy trigger finger. The camaraderie I receive from folks on here causes me to over-share at times. It's certainly not uncommon for members to want to take something back.
I have thought about this too. I share just about everything. The stuff I don't I talk to people outside the forum about. I don't regret a thing. Even the stuff that I say and it has caused drama I don't regret. I figure that I have brought something to light that others will or do struggle with so I ama sacrificial lamb sometimes for others.

I prefer vulnerable people on here though and its what I like about myself too. I do get how sometimes stuff is just too vulnerable because often people hold stuff I said ages ago as my truth now and it isn't. I move on. Also emotions make me say shit in the moment that is left for all eternaty. That sucks sometimes, but I still think its helpful to see my journey and to see where I am now. Somewhere along the line it will help someone.
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  #55  
Old 02-04-2011, 02:59 AM
dragonflysky dragonflysky is offline
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This forum has been a life saver to me when it comes to polyamory. I had read lots and lots of books and articles on it....but this forum gave me exposure and information about poly from those who are living it, or considering living it. That has been invaluable. It's not like I can find lots of role models in the world or discuss it with most of my friends and/or family members like I could a mono relationship.
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  #56  
Old 02-05-2011, 10:32 PM
bella123456 bella123456 is offline
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This forum has certainly helped me a lot. At times I find it difficult to be a witness to so much struggle...At times, it hurts me to think there are so many people here struggling and having difficult times.

It helps me to actually look up the definition of struggle and examples.

Struggle;
- to exert strenuous effort against opposition; "he struggled to get free from the rope"
- an energetic attempt to achieve something; "getting through the crowd was a real struggle"; "he fought a battle for recognition"
- to make great efforts or attempts; strive; labor


And then I feel calmed as I'm reminded struggle is also a good thing
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  #57  
Old 02-07-2011, 08:26 PM
Ithink Ithink is offline
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I really like this forum. In my first post I said it felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff with the fresh clean wind blowing in my face and that remains true to this day. I think there should be some kind of banner disclaimer on the front page saying words to the effect:
WARNING: Reading the printed word without voice and body mannerisms can lead to miscommunication!!! Please someone invent a qwerty keyboard with built in emoticons.
I really value the insights and comments of all the members and the senior members have done an excellent job of keeping the forum focused on staying open minded and fair. Personality conflicts are almost inevitable but imho I think the mod’s and senior members have been good about reminding people that we are all entitled to our own opinions and to keep personal attacks at bay. Keeping in mind that this forum is dealing with one of the most emotionally charged topics of human behaviour I think the forum has done fantastic. Among my many personal flaws is a tendency to over think things and also to get tunnel vision and see my own viewpoint as the only valid one. Input from the members here usually puts that nonsense to an end fairly quick.
We are very isolated here physically as well as we do not fit the usual demographic for Poly people. Okay...that is just a “small” generalization and I apologize but I did not know how else to phrase it. Finding someone to share and learn about Poly has been an almost impossible task here so the forum fills a huge void for me. The Poly groups I found are either dead in the water or seem intent that everyone must “go public” and join media surveys, university thesis papers or parades downtown.
I would love to be able to sit around in a group of Poly people and drink some coffee and share stories etc face to face and perhaps make some lifelong friends that “get it” but the distances tend to be huge and lives tend to be busy. Many years ago there used to be Chat rooms on MSN and sometimes I wonder if a live private chat room within this forum might provide some more intimate contact and sharing that some people appear to desire. It also might be a can of worms no one wants to open. I suppose there are always e-mail and/or messenger for those who want to communicate in a bit more private setting.
So thank you to the mod.’s for the Poly forum and to all those who contribute and help keep it “alive”.
I would feel a bit lost without it now.
IThink.
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  #58  
Old 02-07-2011, 09:01 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Ithink-
great post.
Private messaging works well for many of us and there are those of us who talk on facebook or through email as well.

But-I do see your point in the possiiblity of having a chat room.
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  #59  
Old 02-07-2011, 10:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bowvine View Post

One suggestion I have is to make viewing and posting in the forums require the viewer to be registered. Have unregistered forums for site intro and rules for posting, then make all registration, and registered forum info hidden from the websearch world.

Just a thought.
This sort of request would perhaps make more sense if people in the fora were required to use their actual name, but since most all of us are using pseudonyms there seems little need to protect privacy by hiding behind a search engine / topic search firewall. What is the concern behind this request?

I find search engine accessibility here useful to the fora in various ways. But I'm certainly open to a discussion on the matter (as a former and early moderator / administrator on the site).
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  #60  
Old 02-07-2011, 11:53 PM
dragonflysky dragonflysky is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ithink View Post
.....
So thank you to the mod.’s for the Poly forum and to all those who contribute and help keep it “alive”.
I would feel a bit lost without it now.
IThink.

What "IThink" says........
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